12-8-10

Been feeling good since the change in my meds sometimes still have some depression occasionally. But,  for the most part I have been pretty productive and getting things done... my plate is pretty full being a single mom and all. Never a dull moment!! I have been managing well.  I usually exercise every day which helps with my mood.
  I am thinking of going back to flying maybe in February, if I can only fly 1-2 trips per month. It won't bring in much money but it will allow me to keep the job and the health insurance. I will definately have to find another job to make ends meet. Honestly, I am worried how it will work out since I pay a babysitter as much as I make and its always been such a financial struggle to have this job.  I never feel like I am getting ahead, its a joke.
I tried to get a ground job in Phx with the airline and that wasn't available, I would have to move to Houston. I work in Houston,Tx as a flight attendant and everytime I go to work I have to fly to Houston. I don't have family here to watch my son, so I have to pay as much as I make for childcare which is exhausting!!!! I am always broke, and busting my ass into the ground... I don't know what to do... It sucks..
I have tried having my son stay at a friends house while I fly 3 or 4 days in a row and I was worried the entire time cause I didn't think the friends parents were as strict as me on staying on top of bedtimes and where they let the kids go and what times they let the kids stay out until. I felt like it was a mistake!!! I have tried everything.
Honestly,  I worked sooo hard to become a flight attendant maybe that is ONE reason
why I don't want to give it up sooooooo easily, but it is shitty job for a single mom with bipolar disorder who has other problems as well and needs to be on the GROUND!!!!!!
I have dislexia and auditory processing disorder and I went though sheer hell when I went to school to become a flight attendant, I went to Northwest Airlines for training once for 6 weeks and failed out in Jan 1996 and they realized they made a mistake and let me come back a second time for 6 weeks of flight attendant training and I failed my final exam.
    SOOOO, I was determined and in Aug, 1997  Continental invited me to come to there flight attendant school and my parents did not agree with my decision since I have so much trouble in school and sooo many learning difficulties. But, I am VERY HARDHEADED AND DETERMINED when I want to be, but I found myself a notetaker in my class and study groups. I was not going to let my family tellk me I COULD NOT DO IT!!!!!! So I GRADUATED!!!! I DID IT!!!!
I was single when I became employed in Aug of 1997 but my son was born in October of 1998. 
 I HAVE BEEEN DETERMINED TO KEEP THIS JOB ALL THESE YEARS THROUGHOUT MY 3 ALCOHOLISIM REHABS, and Other Depression/Manic episodes.