12/11/14
Well tomorrow is Friday and for that I'm grateful. I took Tuesday off as that date a year ago was Jennifer's memorial service and I woke up in tears so took a day off - cried, but just needed to be home, alone, with my memories and attempting to make sense of my life now.
The kids at school are wild, trying stupid things, getting hurt, causing problems, etc. They certainly aren't thinking about being naughty or nice are they? LOL In the midst of my pain, there are days that those kids are a blessing and make me laugh. Hunter's birthday was the 2nd - actually talked to him and received a thank you card for the $$$ so THAT made me smile!!
I was told by my therapist that I need a plan for xmas eve and xmas day, otherwise I might just stay in bed. My response to that is - what's wrong with that? The thought of not having my mom again on xmas eve is so hard for me and now not to have Jennifer just doesn't make sense.... I will probably go to a Christmas Eve service at church and don't know what else, if anything....Personally I'll be glad when the whole Ho Ho Ho is over. Santa needs to go home and stay there for awhile.
Just checking in - praying for you all to have moments of peace and comfort during this holiday season.
Vicki
The kids at school are wild, trying stupid things, getting hurt, causing problems, etc. They certainly aren't thinking about being naughty or nice are they? LOL In the midst of my pain, there are days that those kids are a blessing and make me laugh. Hunter's birthday was the 2nd - actually talked to him and received a thank you card for the $$$ so THAT made me smile!!
I was told by my therapist that I need a plan for xmas eve and xmas day, otherwise I might just stay in bed. My response to that is - what's wrong with that? The thought of not having my mom again on xmas eve is so hard for me and now not to have Jennifer just doesn't make sense.... I will probably go to a Christmas Eve service at church and don't know what else, if anything....Personally I'll be glad when the whole Ho Ho Ho is over. Santa needs to go home and stay there for awhile.
Just checking in - praying for you all to have moments of peace and comfort during this holiday season.
Vicki
Replies
I feel bah humbug for Christmas also. I would not mind if the whole thing skipped that week of Ho Ho. I do have grand kids and they do keep me going. I do it for them ! I have Mikes Angel date on 12/20 so the whole thing sucks.
I am sending you tight hugs
Penny
Peace and just try to make it about your grandson as this will be uplifting. Hoping Jennifer comes to you in a dream with some love, Hugs, Kathy
I always dread this time of year. Every year is different. One year spent a week on the West coast, watching the storms on the ocean. It matched my mood. One year we spent with our son and his in laws - bad move. It was too noisy and I just felt worse. This year we are staying home. I am getting more in to the spirit but it is bittersweet.
So if you plan something special or plan to spend the time in bed, do it. Whatever gets you through.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
I am not sure I agree with therapists when they advise this. One can then feel like a \"failure\" again when the \"plan\" is not something we are up to or can navigate. I understand the thought process behind it, yet feel that it\'s ok to stay in bed, remain in jammies, go out, don\'t go out... Whatever is going to be the most gentle on your healing heart is what it needs to be and that is the only plan necessary for me. It may change in a nano second so have a plan to not have a plan until the very moment is okay... This is how I navigated the last six plus years and it has served me well to have this kind of mind set around \"plans.\"
Please just allow yourself lots and lots of wiggle room to tap into what will help you the most and even if you are not sure of what that is one thing that I do know is that it can be exhausting to spend too much time making a plan that may or may not come to fruition.
Grateful you took Tuesday off dear Vicki and that Hunter liked receiving some $$$ and oh, do I ever remember how the kids were doing in school at this time of year when I was teaching. Most of all I remember just being prayerful that a flu bug didn\'t take us all out as it always seemed the bugs were on steroids at this time of year.
Lots and lots of loving care my friend and you are doing your best and that is enough... More than enough so please look back at all that you have faced and with such courage. It matters as do YOU and you will make it through Christmas just as you have all the other days, one breath and one step at a time...
Heartfelt (((hugs))) and so much understanding,
XO Joanie
I also feel like staying in bed over Christmas time. My son and his half brother will be spending Christmas with their \"good-for-nothing\" father, (my ex-husband). This year Christmas is ripping my heart out and crushing it completely!!
DEAR VICKY: i FEEL THE SAME WAY. YOU SAID YOUR THERPIST ASKED YOU ABOUT CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS DAY. AND YOU MENTION SLEEP OR LAY IN THE BED ALL DAY. AND I GUESS THE THERPIST SAID SOMETHING AND YOU SAID {WHATS WRONG WITH LAYING IN THE BED ALL DAY??? I FEEL LIKE YOU SOMETIMES DURING YOUR GRIEF YOU JUST FEEL LIKE RESTING LAYING AROUND NO COMMITMENTS JUST PEACE . BLESS YOUR ANGEL SORRY I MISSED HIS ANGEL DAY. BIG HUGS AND LOVE M ARY ANN.