12/10/15 - Well, this is me.
Well, hey!
I'm 20 years old, my name is Lowel. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm out of work at the moment and terrified of the thought of going back, but I feel so.. Useless? Without it. I dunno, maybe I'll just have to find me again. If I can even do that anymore.
It's one of those things where, I'm not doing well but I really want to? I'm trying to fight it, but I just can't seem to do it anymore. I'm trying to do all the things that make me happy and end up just listening to the songs that make me feel worse, just sitting in my room all day, can't find the strength to go outside and see people (Unless its to go and see my tattoo artist)... I feel so comfortable there, compared to anywhere else, even in my own home. I wanna ask him if I can y'know, start a job there, maybe just as a receptionist (I used to be a professional artist(Although it not a very good one) and tbh its the thing I really want to do!)
I used to have an account on here about 7 years ago, and it really kind of helped. But the problem is as I was looking through my old account, I remembered I was so scared of life that I was a compulsive liar, so I can't even see how I was really feeling or what was really happening in my head. There was this guy, Shibb's, that used to have an account too, and I remember him being the sweetest person, I doubt he uses this anymore though I guess.
Well, I guess that's enough ranting for now, I dunno why I feel the need to finish it so suddenly, I guess I'll realize after and maybe write another journal, until then
Catch you later.
I'm 20 years old, my name is Lowel. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm out of work at the moment and terrified of the thought of going back, but I feel so.. Useless? Without it. I dunno, maybe I'll just have to find me again. If I can even do that anymore.
It's one of those things where, I'm not doing well but I really want to? I'm trying to fight it, but I just can't seem to do it anymore. I'm trying to do all the things that make me happy and end up just listening to the songs that make me feel worse, just sitting in my room all day, can't find the strength to go outside and see people (Unless its to go and see my tattoo artist)... I feel so comfortable there, compared to anywhere else, even in my own home. I wanna ask him if I can y'know, start a job there, maybe just as a receptionist (I used to be a professional artist(Although it not a very good one) and tbh its the thing I really want to do!)
I used to have an account on here about 7 years ago, and it really kind of helped. But the problem is as I was looking through my old account, I remembered I was so scared of life that I was a compulsive liar, so I can't even see how I was really feeling or what was really happening in my head. There was this guy, Shibb's, that used to have an account too, and I remember him being the sweetest person, I doubt he uses this anymore though I guess.
Well, I guess that's enough ranting for now, I dunno why I feel the need to finish it so suddenly, I guess I'll realize after and maybe write another journal, until then
Catch you later.
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