Hey there DS Friends,
Stooooooooo much to say, lots going on, haven't had the energy to relive it and write it down. I'm tired.
Brief synopsis: Janie's driving me crazy. BUT I learned something at a three-Saturday workshop in September about teaching music to students on the autism spectrum, and that's the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. They look the same, but the meltdown is about can't cope, can't process, can't function. The tantrum is about not getting own way. Janie had a meltdown, aimed at me, that lasted several weeks. I misunderstood and thought she was deliberately tormenting me, and had my OWN meltdown. When I talked to Janie about it afterward she thought she was actually having BOTH.
oh my. no wonder it was so hard for us both.
Well, the conversation was progress. I learned something. But don't ask me to go into more details, too emotionally exhausted to regurgitate that whole ugly emotional mess. I'm doing that in therapy, started going again just before the last journal entry. It's a good thing.
Currently I'm visiting the folks in their home state, more nursing home issues, Mom wants to move him to where he can get better care, but it's farther away for her to visit. She would barely get to see him. I dunno.
Productive day. Fighting off a sinus infection myself, so I'm exhausted. OMG soooooooo out of shape.
School is fine, I love our new principal. Some one is driving the car! He's a good guy. doing cello lessons again, and a few massages here and there.
hate my car, it's making another $1000 noise, I think. Trying to figure out how to get it to hobble along until April, which is the earliest I can replace it. To distract myself from how awful my family stress load is I've been test driving cars and asking people to tell me what they drive and how they love/hate it.
So yes, I'm still around. Basically okay. Most of my life is good. The parts that are stressful are extremely so, and I just can't bring myself to write about it. Obsess over it too much as it is anyway, beginning to wonder if some of my emotional responses to Janie's distress is related to PTSD.
Thank you for the hugs and messages - even if I haven't been posting I have been reading those, and I'm grateful!
love yas,
Brian
Stooooooooo much to say, lots going on, haven't had the energy to relive it and write it down. I'm tired.
Brief synopsis: Janie's driving me crazy. BUT I learned something at a three-Saturday workshop in September about teaching music to students on the autism spectrum, and that's the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum. They look the same, but the meltdown is about can't cope, can't process, can't function. The tantrum is about not getting own way. Janie had a meltdown, aimed at me, that lasted several weeks. I misunderstood and thought she was deliberately tormenting me, and had my OWN meltdown. When I talked to Janie about it afterward she thought she was actually having BOTH.
oh my. no wonder it was so hard for us both.
Well, the conversation was progress. I learned something. But don't ask me to go into more details, too emotionally exhausted to regurgitate that whole ugly emotional mess. I'm doing that in therapy, started going again just before the last journal entry. It's a good thing.
Currently I'm visiting the folks in their home state, more nursing home issues, Mom wants to move him to where he can get better care, but it's farther away for her to visit. She would barely get to see him. I dunno.
Productive day. Fighting off a sinus infection myself, so I'm exhausted. OMG soooooooo out of shape.
School is fine, I love our new principal. Some one is driving the car! He's a good guy. doing cello lessons again, and a few massages here and there.
hate my car, it's making another $1000 noise, I think. Trying to figure out how to get it to hobble along until April, which is the earliest I can replace it. To distract myself from how awful my family stress load is I've been test driving cars and asking people to tell me what they drive and how they love/hate it.
So yes, I'm still around. Basically okay. Most of my life is good. The parts that are stressful are extremely so, and I just can't bring myself to write about it. Obsess over it too much as it is anyway, beginning to wonder if some of my emotional responses to Janie's distress is related to PTSD.
Thank you for the hugs and messages - even if I haven't been posting I have been reading those, and I'm grateful!
love yas,
Brian
Replies
wish you the best of luck
I drive a Honda Civic .. love it ... My friend drives a new Ford Focus and got it for a steal because it is a 2010 ... $13.000 it gets awesome gas mileage. Miss you like crazy.