Yup.  The number on my profile changed.  49.  Today.   I haven't quite got over the existential angst posted earlier in my journal... that nagging question about "what losses MUST I accept as a result of aging?" and a few more have joined it, like "what have I done with my life?" and"what am I doing with the rest of my life?"and "what potential remains?"and"will it have made any difference?"and "why am I still so afraid?"and"100 years from now who will care?" on the other hand I still have all my teeth, if not my hair. I've learned a lot about my self, my body, my family. I am reasonably good at what I do and most of the time enjoy my job. I escaped fundamentalism (more or less). I am with a guy who keeps me more or less grounded (22 years in July) and who still thinks I'm cute.  Though not in quite the same way as way as when we met.  Lucky for me he thinks back hair is adorable. --------- Perhaps some more musing about this later today.  Off to the gym and maybe an afternoon visit to the north shore.