Three more instrument demonstration assemblies.  Three more schools, one of them mine.  Once again experiencing that mental backwash of Post-Performance-I-need-some-quiet-time-to-regroup.What is helping calm me right now is a piece of music I didn't know before. I will be singing it at a friend's wedding at the end of the month, a very dear gay couple who have been together almost as long as we have.  Two pieces, actually, but one of them was available on iTunes, so I downloaded Mendelssohn's "Verleih' uns Freiden."Oh dear God that I don't believe in, what an amazingly beautiful piece of music.  First of all, I tend to love Mendelssohn's melodies, always very singable, very human.  Secondly, the orchestra begins with low strings (the cellist in me is ecstatic), thirdly, the first voices to sing are unison male.  Do-mi-re-do.  How easy is that?  So stately, so smooth, over velveting cellos and violas, so utterly at peace.  Da nobis pacem.  Grant us peace.  Perfect marriage of text and tune. I spent a very happy hour this evening in my classroom singing and playing along with the recording - I am very much looking forward to re-creating this piece with live people.  No wonder my friends want it sung at their wedding.So much of spirituality for me has been turned into broken glass and poison ivy for me, at times I'm still so angry about what Christianity has made me live through that on occasion driving past a church is still enough to trigger a scream of rage and a purple-faced rant.  Usually when I am alone in the car and already stressed about something else. Since leaving the church some of my most spiritual moments have been in music-making. There hasn't been enough of that in the last few years.  I love my job and find it highly satisfying, but unless I feed myself with adult musical outlets I don't have so much to give to children.  And as lovely a song as "Over in the meadow" is, as simple and beautiful and profound as it can be (it's not just a counting song, it's family bonding), it doesn't speak to my soul the way the cello repertoire did as I was learning it.I need melody, I need song.  I need to sing, I need to play, I need to be surrounded in a sea of cooperative sound, I need the notes that carry out of me all the longing and pain, I need the music that reconnects me to my wordless depths. I need the tunes that heal the damage done by Christians, that put back what was STOLEN from me by heartless zealots.  I need the music that restores my sense of wonder and awe without putting wretched demeaning little labels on the experience, that let me live inside the Mystery, at peace with what I can sense and feel but can never really know or name.It is paradoxical that sometimes the music that does it for me is liturgical.  As "Verlieh'" is.   I suppose what saves me from foaming at the mouth is that it's in German, so when I sing it, I'm making German noises, but focused on the tune and texture, timbre and tessitura.  I'm so taken by the phrases and where they are leading me that I can't obsess over the hideousness the religious text could bring up for me.What can I say?  I am in love with this tune.  And - soon I get to sing it.++++++++++++++++ One song that I was talking about...Over in the MeadowOver in the meadow,In the sand in the sunLived an old mother toadieAnd her little toadie one"Wink!" said the mother;"I wink!" said the one,So they winked and they blinkedIn the sand in the sunOver in the meadow,Where the stream runs blueLived an old mother fishAnd her little fishes two"Swim!" said the mother;"We swim!" said the two,So they swam and they leapedWhere the stream runs blueOver in the meadow,In a hole in a treeLived an old mother bluebirdAnd her little birdies three"Sing!" said the mother;"We sing!" said the threeSo they sang and were gladIn a hole in the treeOver in the meadow,In the reeds on the shoreLived an old mother muskratAnd her little ratties four"Dive!" said the mother;"We dive!" said the fourSo they dived and they burrowedIn the reeds on the shoreOver in the meadow,In a snug beehiveLived a mother honey beeAnd her little bees five"Buzz!" said the mother;"We buzz!" said the fiveSo they buzzed and they hummedIn the snug beehiveOver in the meadow,In a nest built of sticksLived a black mother crowAnd her little crows six"Caw!" said the mother;"We caw!" said the sixSo they cawed and they calledIn their nest built of sticksOver in the meadow,Where the grass is so evenLived a gay mother cricketAnd her little crickets seven"Chirp!" said the mother;"We chirp!" said the sevenSo they chirped cheery notesIn the grass soft and evenOver in the meadow,By the old mossy gateLived a brown mother lizardAnd her little lizards eight"Bask!" said the mother;"We bask!" said the eightSo they basked in the sunOn the old mossy gateOver in the meadow,Where the quiet pools shineLived a green mother frogAnd her little froggies nine"Croak!" said the mother;"We croak!" said the nineSo they croaked and they splashedWhere the quiet pools shineOver in the meadow,In a sly little denLived a gray mother spiderAnd her little spiders ten"Spin!" said the mother;"We spin!" said the tenSo they spun lacy websIn their sly little den+++++++++++++++  Verleih' uns Frieden gnädiglichHerr Gott, zu unsern Zeiten!Es ist doch jakein Andrer nicht,der fUur uns KUonnte streiten,denn du, unser Gott alleine.Grant unto us thy peace, O Lord,Grant us thy peace enduringfor there is none, none with the strength who could so firmly defend us.For thou art our hope and safety.To those of you who REALLY speak German, I did not translate this, that's the English translation in my copy, I don't sprechen very much Deutsch.