Whew.  Finally got enough stuff put away and done so now I can sit down and tell you about the contest.Thursday and Friday were rest days; it was a good thing, too, because of the diet I didn't have a whole lot of energy.  Even with doubling up on the carbs Friday.  Hubby came home early from work to water the yard (it's been hot here, and not a lot of rain) and all the potted plants.  At 5:30 we left for the bakery to pick up the dark chocolate cake I was going to eat during the contest, then to my trainer's apartment to stay over.As you know from previous pictures, I am a VERY white man (it's that Scots-Irish heritage), even with a month of tanning in a booth and the application of three consecutive layers of spray-on tan.  We spent another three hours Friday night painting me with Pro-Tan, a product that comes in a spray bottle but has to be sponged on.  Two coats of that went on. but even that didn't quite get me dark enough.  Worse, every mole and rough skin patch took the color differently, so I had some weird blotches the next morning as well.Wasn't too much more I could do Friday night, the Pro-Tan was very tacky and came off on everything  I touched... so I lay there on old sheets.  The amusing part was that when I got up I could see my silhouette tanned onto the bed.  So much was running through my mind, but mostly "I'm really going to do this!"  Sleep didn't happen until some time after 2:00.  Too wired and hungry.We were up around 5:30 as the contest venue was an hour away and I was going to have to register and take a polygraph test before 9:30.  Breakfast was an ounce of cream of rice, an egg white and a sip of distilled water.  Oh joy.  Food intake has to be timed precisely so that the muscles will look their fullest while the body will be its driest, so I wasn't going to eat much until actually backstage, and then I would be eating in bursts just before the pose downs and for energy.  The dark chocolate cake served two purposes: immediate energy and the sugars helped to fill out the muscle as well as pronounce vascularity.  Well three functions, if you add in the humor of being spoon-fed chocolate by my trainer in front of every one else...As a cyclist I've had the experience of running on empty: riders call it "bonking" when your blood sugar drops enough to affect performance (no power, can't maintain speed or climb hills).  This morning I was walking the bonk tightrope.  Pretty much just had to live through it to be my leanest looking for the show - I napped just about everywhere and when possible (pics to prove it).The event was the OCB (Organization of Competitive Bodybuilders) All-Natural Yankee Classic and was held in Newburyport (we're in Massachusetts) at the High School.  We got there before the set-up crew, so car nap.  Unbeknownst to me all the walk-in registration stuff was cash only, so there were a few minutes of panic for me as I sent hubby out with my ATM card.  Fortunately he got back before registration was finished so I didn't miss the competitors' meeting.  Off to the "Green Room" - we knew it was because that was painted in vivid purple letters over the door.  The bookshelves lining the wall with hundreds of scripts gave it away too.  Long rolls of brown paper were taped to the floor, a set of light dumbbells brought in, and people started to prepare.  Carlos, my trainer, began to apply ANOTHER coat of the Pro-Tan, but it only seemed to enhance the blotchiness.It was probably another hour of waiting before the first Women's Figure contestants walked out, but once they started the show rolled along fairly smoothly and quickly.  I was registered to compete in the 40+, Novice and Open divisions.  (Novice means you haven't placed first in any category yet and Open means no age, experience or weight limitations). Those three classes were scheduled back-to-back, so three times out on stage with no break. As luck would have it, the Novice and Open divisions had more competitors, so they were broken down into two classes: Short and Tall.  As I'm a whopping 5'8" I was grouped with the short.  And a good thing too, those other guys were BIG.Meanwhile, still waiting for the call to get ready, my trainer borrows a container of Dream Tan from one of the other contestants.  (You know, the guys were all very outgoing and friendly backstage- you'd think it would be enormous egos and the like, but not so.)  Dream Tan is a paste that you spread on, doesn't run, and as we discovered, covers a mutlitude of sins.  Bye-bye blotchy!The expiditer comes back from the stage, tells us who needs to start pumping.  "Master's Divisino, 40 Plus: numbers 12, 22 and 38."  38 - that's me!  A bite of cake, some strawberries, a little gatorade, pushups, bicep curls, back rows, shrugs, then into line (squeeze, squeeze).  I have the same thought now as I had the first time I rode the Superman Coaster at Six Flags: "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"It's not so bad. In fact, it's kind of fun.  We do the quarter turns, then they ask for the various mandatory poses.  Our order gets shifted around a bit as they compare one against the other - they tell us to choose a favorite pose and then off we go.Next category - my trainer meets me backstage - a quick bite, then back in line.  Novice this time, just the Short guys, six of us.  One guy looks like he's just decided this morning to enter the contest - he hasn't applied any color and several comment that his posing doesn't look all that great. Pose, pose, sweat, sweat.  I notice that the drops on the stage floor are tinted brown.  The floor is black, so the fact that I can see brown on black suggests......what the woman said when I get back to the green room: "did you get rained on?"  My arms are streaking.  The Pro-Tan is beading up and dripping off.  Fortunately the Tall Novices are on stage, so Carlos has just enough time to pat me dry and re-apply a little Dream Tan.  More cake, strawberry, then back out for the Open category, and once again, just us Shorties.  By now I'm tired, so my posing isn't as tight.When I walk off the stage for the last time I am exhilirated, exhausted, ecstatic.  There's an hour intermission; "be back by three."We go out to Wendy's - hubby gets his first real meal, I can't have anything yet (but I don't care, hungry as I am, I have had CAKE today).  One more meeting, then we get to do our one minute solo routine.  Change of trunks, more Dream Tan, cake, pumping.  We're going in numerical order, so I'm next to last (40 was the highest number and I don't know where 39 went).  It went okay, I didn't forget anything... just some balance problems as I was also experiencing in the morning.  Moral of the story: I think I need to do more yoga and posing practice.The final pose-off between the category winners takes place to determine the overall Men's and Women's champions, then the awards are given.  In the 40+ I take 2nd out of three.  In the Novice Short class there were six competitors, but there are only five awards, so only the five whose numbers are read will go out.  However, it seems that one guy (the one who looked like he just woke up and walked in) has already gone home, so after a consult with the judges we're told that we all go out.  I get 5th!  There's only five in the Open Short class, and once again I'm the proud owner of another 5th place!When it is all over I walk up to the judges' stand and ask for feedback.  I get some great constructive criticism - turns out my front relaxed pose wasn't wide enough, it was hiding my lats.  He also suggested that my face looked too intense, the goatee didn't help.  I'm walking on air.  Dinner at Bugaboo Creek.  Steak.  More Cake.  What a great day!