DID
I have finally accepted that I have DID. What a journey this has been! First anxiety and depression starting in 2006, then realizing that that's not just going to go away with rest. Then cutting and suicidal thoughts. Then remembering childhood sexual abuse. Then accepting the memory as real and figuring out the most likely where when and who. THEN realizing my 'anxiety attacks' aren't just that but also parts switching. I have DID! I'm almost afraid to know what's going to come next. What could come next?
DID, dissociative identity disorder, is a strange thing to cope with. You realize parts of yourself have split off and have memories that you don't remember, and feelings you try to ignore. Now you have to learn to connect with these parts, allow them to share the memories and feelings, and unload the burden they have been carrying for up to twenty years. On top of that, you realize that each part has a will of it's own, and it's own history with knowledge about and faith in Christ. A part my choose to deny Christ while the core me has accepted Him and chosen repeatedly to live for Him. This is so bizarre.
I think I had my first official inner meeting this morning. Feeling overwhelmed I tried to connect with the parts and figure out what's going on and find a way to cope with the next few days without the parts being overwhelmed. Adult Beth needs to show the parts that she will take care of them and get what needs to be done, done.
Hanging on tight to Jesus!
DID, dissociative identity disorder, is a strange thing to cope with. You realize parts of yourself have split off and have memories that you don't remember, and feelings you try to ignore. Now you have to learn to connect with these parts, allow them to share the memories and feelings, and unload the burden they have been carrying for up to twenty years. On top of that, you realize that each part has a will of it's own, and it's own history with knowledge about and faith in Christ. A part my choose to deny Christ while the core me has accepted Him and chosen repeatedly to live for Him. This is so bizarre.
I think I had my first official inner meeting this morning. Feeling overwhelmed I tried to connect with the parts and figure out what's going on and find a way to cope with the next few days without the parts being overwhelmed. Adult Beth needs to show the parts that she will take care of them and get what needs to be done, done.
Hanging on tight to Jesus!
Replies
Wow! So it wasn\'t just those other people at therapy with DID! It was you, and you didn\'t know it. I think God is going to slowly heal you. Using the docs, and the therapy, but really bringing good out of all this pain. You are a wonderful person, so talented, with so much to do to serve God.
I am so excited. I think we all suffer from different overwhelming pain. But sexual abuse has got to be the worst of all. Yet you are going to put the pieces back together. I will pray that this process won\'t hurt too much, but enough to force you forward and make the deep changes you have to make.
\"Heavenly Father, I just pray for Beth that you would continue to work in her life. I thank you that you have revealed the source of her trauma, her anxiety, and you have given her a new direction to pursue. I thank you for our friendship, and all the gifts you have given her. I thank you that despite her pain, she helps others here who are hurting. Please continue to be in her life, and to be real. Let your love and peace flow through her broken and shattered soul. Help her on the journey to becoming whole. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.\"