DID

I have finally accepted that I have DID.  What a journey this has been!  First anxiety and depression starting in 2006, then realizing that that's not just going to go away with rest.  Then cutting and suicidal thoughts.   Then remembering childhood sexual abuse.  Then accepting the memory as real and figuring out the most likely where when and who.  THEN realizing my 'anxiety attacks' aren't just that but also parts switching.  I have DID!  I'm almost afraid to know what's going to come next.  What could come next? 
 
DID, dissociative identity disorder, is a strange thing to cope with.  You realize parts of yourself have split off and have memories that you don't remember, and feelings you try to ignore.  Now you have to learn to connect with these parts, allow them to share the memories and feelings, and unload the burden they have been carrying for up to twenty years.  On top of that, you realize that each part has a will of it's own, and it's own history with knowledge about and faith in Christ.  A part my choose to deny Christ while the core me has accepted Him and chosen repeatedly to live for Him.  This is so bizarre. 
 
I think I had my first official inner meeting this morning.  Feeling overwhelmed I tried to connect with the parts and figure out what's going on and find a way to cope with the next few days without the parts being overwhelmed.  Adult Beth needs to show the parts that she will take care of them and get what needs to be done, done. 
 
Hanging on tight to Jesus!