just wrote this up and sent to my therapist and a few other people. these are not needs i expect or even think can be met by an on-line community like DS, but i want to share.


First a little background - im currently in TX renting with some students, though not in school myself because of health. my family is safe, just big and chaotic and im not sure id be able to let them take care of me without feeling guilty and im not sure i can rest well in the chaos (8 ppl at the moment, 5 between the ages 8-17 - and four dogs (sorry, but i dont like dogs!))


Now - what i sent to my therapist.


i need - unconditional love, safe hugs, to cry, ppl to tell me to rest and say its ok, a lot more touch just from friends, someone to tuck me in at night and say everythings gonna be ok, someone to hug me through panic attacks, someone to take care of me besides me - i need to be so sick i cant take care of myself or well enough to take care of myself - this borderline is frustrating. I need to be able to let go and know someone will be there to willingly & lovingly take care of me until the pieces can be put back together.


i need to know how to ask for these things. i need to know that if i let go ill be safe.


im supposed to get this from my family - biological or church. is it time for me to go home? or is God going to provide help here?

i cant carry myself much longer.


i cant carry myself much longer.

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deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s totally okay to feel like you can\'t carry yourself...believe me, I know the feeling. I hope you know that if we do get the chance to be together (I won\'t say in what capacity just for your privacy on here), that I\'ll do everything in my power to carry you through this, and I really believe that i can. Even if I can\'t be there 24 hours a day, I can be there a HELL of a lot. And you deserve that, and much, much more. All my love,

Sammi