Better Day

Once again another date in the loss of Kenny has passed...The pain just never stops..Seems I have had so much going on, I don't even have time to read or write to anyone..I feel so bad about not having the chance to see how all is doing..
The kids went home today...I think Shawn was going to ride with one of the guys and sit in the truck today...bet he won't stay long..sitting makes you very stiff and painful...Boy when I think of what could have happened..I just shutter...
I don't know how some of you on here can get through the things you have had to go through...The loss would just seem to me to be more than I could stand...I am so thankful that Shawn is safe and will heal in time...
My house is a mess..I have been working to get mom's room fixed and the other bedroom fixed into a room for me..haha...like they follow me from room to room what makes me think I can have a minute alone...even Abby is so funny keeps up with me like a shawdow...she don't miss a beat...I love her so much...
Rough day yesterday..with my sister creating the problem..but think we have it worked out so far...I just decided, she is not going to get to talk to mom again...unless it is on speaker phone...not going through a day like that again.hopefully...
Guess it kept me from crying about Ken all day..but...just need that day...I hope things start to slow down soon,,but doubt it...Now we have a party sceduled on the eveing of the 18th,,,hopefully the house will be half way looking decent,,,
Mom sees to be happy here for the most part...but says she just don't understand..we try to get her to understand why she is here..maybe someday...She ask but what if you get tired of me?
Maybe in time she will understand this is her home now too.
I really need a special private prayer need...so if you would say a prayer for me I would appreciate it...
I am very sorry that I have missed so many of you and the times and things your going through...I hope to get back to reading journals soon and replying...
Take care each one and know your in my thoughts...I love each of you and I appreciate how much love I feel from all of you...
To my very sweet son..Mom sure does miss you..just can't imagine that life continues to go on without you here...I know your happy and out of pain, but sure miss you here talking and sharing with me and just seeing you...My heart aches so much for you..I love you so much...I can't even put inot words how my heart hurts...
Love you always, Mom...found some pictures of you today...so glad to have found them...you in your first car we bought you...just seeing your pictures..I love so much...You always looked so happy....I know you are now...
I love you forever and eer...Mom