I can't seem to escape this. Being off my meds for two weeks now is really taking a toll on me.
It is now 2am, and I fight to sleep. I mean fight. I cannot read. I can barely think to put these words together. I push myself to write as I know it is the best thing. I have fears.........I have anxiety............I have a God who is bigger than all of this mess. I don't know what tommorrow will bring, but I do know if I surrender to God's will and stay out of the way, He will bring joy and peace to my day.......There is to much going on anymore. To many things at one time. It is caving in on me as I've somehow taken back my will. I had given in to the devils lies. God assured me that he has NOT brought me this far to leave me now, although I want to find a way to doubt. How could I be so selfish to put a question mark where God has put a period. Fear will be the death of us all, Fear is lack of faith. This is the part of the journey that will determine whether I stand for what I believe in, or whether I will fall for anything............God has given me a Renegade Spirit, to know longer stand on the sidelines of life, but to fight, lovingly for that which is important. Please Father strengthen me............be my voice to those who need to hear.Thank you Lord for the many blessings just in this one day. How incredible you are.