family

today was abad day for me got a nasty  text from my sister who i havent seen or heard from since easter time ond only cause i told people on facebook about my surgery it got to the point maybe i shouldnt even turn my computer on all i wanted to do was crawl into to my bed and stay there and never come out of it but i thought writting down my feelings might help me boy family can suck big time but maybe i dont deserve to have family,well thats what it feels likes but am glad i have my other family i can talk too(amputees) cause they dodnt judge me and i dont think i am a bad person just looking for support cause it can get real lonely and very hard without any support from noboby ireally feel like crying and not gettig out of bed for a very long time if ever but i have to look after my two boys whom i love with all of my heart damm wish i had not lost my leg i really hate myself for that to the stage sometimes i wish i was dead what a sad sack i am but it does feel alittle bit better writtig it down maybe there is hope for me yet just got to shake this feeling of doom