I am so pissed off. At myself and my doctor. I feel like I need on new meds, but all she wants to do is raise the ones I'm on. What do I gotta do, flip on her so she sees it's not working? i am pissed at myself cuz I have been letting the house go. Now that logic hits me, and I have a reality check, I see how bad it actually looks! How could I let it get like this? How could I just sit around watching my husband try to take care of the house and kids, while I just sit around and say, " well, I cook the meals!" ? What is wrong with me? I am a horrible wife and mom and on top of that I'm a selfish bitch. I sit and feel sorry for myself while my husband struggles to keep things together. Then I want to blame him when it looks like this? No, it's my fault. He trys, but he can't do it all himself. I hate myself for what I've become! I know he'd probly be better without me, but still he stays. He stays because he loves me unconditionally, but I don't deserve that!
Replies
This is all part of being depressed and that is what is wrong with you. You are not a bad mother or a bad wife. You are just going through some difficult times right now. Ripping yourself apart right now isn\'t going to help the situation. It takes time and it is a rollercoaster ride. Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally. That is what true love is. Your home isn\'t a lost cause. If you feel like cleaning than do it when you are feeling good. Depression is to blame here, no one else. Give your Dr. a try. It will take time though to know if it is making a difference. I understand where you are at right now. One step at a time. One day at a time. Take Care.
Never put yourself down. You have worth as a person. You have a medical condition. That doesn\'t mean your bad person. Keep pushing to be healthy. It\'s tough but you have support here. We\'ve been there. We understand. We will help.
Well every day is a new day and we can always improve on ourselves :) Dont beat yourself up over it, just improve :) *hugs*