I am down about a lot of things right now. I am beating myself up for not being able to stick to ANY diet. I am so big and I hate it. I want to be differant, but I can't control myself sometimes. No one really understands why I can't "just loose the weight!" If it was only so easy for me. I think my bipolar has something to do with it. my husband is mad at me because I am going through another one of my "just leave me alone and I don't want to do anything!" spells again. I know I am a wife and mother now and I have responsibilities, but honestly right now I just don't car. I know that makes me sound horrible, but so be it. I was supposed to start the pill so I could get on my meds, but to start it I have to wait til after my next period. And guess what, my period is a week late! If I am pregnant again, God help anybody and everybody around me. My problems spike up bad when i'm pregnant. I'm like a physco b*tch! And the fact that I REALLY DO NOT want any more kids will make it 10 times worse! I had a test yesderday and it came back negative. Lets hope it was right!