Life

I feel like I am constantly moving backward. Every time I go forward I go back double. Currently still missing Lou. I tried dating and found I wasn't ready. Now I am in the process of trying to file bankruptcy and my finances are caving in around me. The father of my 2 grown kids is in ICU at his local hospital and my daughters are freaking out. I am supposed to be strong for them as their mom and all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide until this all blows over. I am tired. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet and it isn't enough. My RA is acting up because I don't rest as much as before. There always seems to be something.
I want to look forward and praise God for all he has done for me... I am having a hell of a time doing it. I feel mixed up all the time. I cry a lot. I am cranky and stressed out. I don't drink , I eat to solve pain and that is taking its toll. MY mom wants me to move in with her and I can't handle the smoke smell in her house. ARGH sometimes I feel like I am going crazy!