Unexpected expectations or unfulfilled expectations...let us examine this for a moment...we seem to have a certain amount of expectations in life whether we verbalize them or not...for example that person will be with me forever (or at least until I make the choice to end the relationship, most of us do not consider if or when the OTHER person decides...NO!! most expect that the relationship will go on forever [if that is their desire] right?) ...this is one type of expectation you may have.
...our next example will involve perhaps ordering something from a brochure or online...perhaps a desk. Now you know based on the pictures what the desk is going to look like and you expect it to look the same as in the picture right? However the desk arrives and you notice that the drawer fronts are not as wide as the actually desk!! Therefore you have been screwed since someone decided to save materials or messed up and it does not meet your expectations and you get pissed!!
In both scenario's let us say you eventually come to accept what has happened. True, the drawer fronts are messed up but the desk is otherwise ok and it is functionally fine so you keep it...true, the relationship is over but you learn to appreciate your alone time and not having to deal with the aggravation you sometimes felt being with the other person etc. etc.
Now here is where it gets interesting...in both unfulfilled expectations (the relationship you expected to last forever...and the purchased desk that you expected to be EXACTLY as shown in the picture)...in both of these situations...after they occurred...pay attention here...you thought about what happened and experienced an upset by the event---before you went to sleep at night AND upon waking up---isn't it the first thing that came to your consciousness?? The content of the event didn't matter. The desk, the relationship...those specifics if you will...don't matter to your brain...your mind doesn't know the difference...it cannot directly connect to the event...it only knows "UPSET"...it only knows my "host" if you will, is not happy about what has occurred. The response will be the same. And yet in our perception, how we weigh the importance of events, we think that surely a messed up purchase of a desk should not be as important as a failed relationship right? Your brain doesn't know the difference. It will do what it needs, for you, to survive the upset. The other stuff is all EGO...we think that we are really connected to the desk somehow...or to the other person....it's an illusion if you will...there is a disconnect between your feelings and reality...your feelings, actually your brain, which sends these responses or signals to you, reminders of an upset or whatever, ---it is doing that to work thru and purge the event from your consciousness, from existence, so that you can move on from it and survive. You will.
Allow your mind to do its thing...the bothersome thoughts and/or feelings will fade... In time, the feeling from the upset will pass into obscurity. The memory of it may remain...sort of like a bit of gas after a meal, the emotions work themselves through your psychological tract...and you move on...
...our next example will involve perhaps ordering something from a brochure or online...perhaps a desk. Now you know based on the pictures what the desk is going to look like and you expect it to look the same as in the picture right? However the desk arrives and you notice that the drawer fronts are not as wide as the actually desk!! Therefore you have been screwed since someone decided to save materials or messed up and it does not meet your expectations and you get pissed!!
In both scenario's let us say you eventually come to accept what has happened. True, the drawer fronts are messed up but the desk is otherwise ok and it is functionally fine so you keep it...true, the relationship is over but you learn to appreciate your alone time and not having to deal with the aggravation you sometimes felt being with the other person etc. etc.
Now here is where it gets interesting...in both unfulfilled expectations (the relationship you expected to last forever...and the purchased desk that you expected to be EXACTLY as shown in the picture)...in both of these situations...after they occurred...pay attention here...you thought about what happened and experienced an upset by the event---before you went to sleep at night AND upon waking up---isn't it the first thing that came to your consciousness?? The content of the event didn't matter. The desk, the relationship...those specifics if you will...don't matter to your brain...your mind doesn't know the difference...it cannot directly connect to the event...it only knows "UPSET"...it only knows my "host" if you will, is not happy about what has occurred. The response will be the same. And yet in our perception, how we weigh the importance of events, we think that surely a messed up purchase of a desk should not be as important as a failed relationship right? Your brain doesn't know the difference. It will do what it needs, for you, to survive the upset. The other stuff is all EGO...we think that we are really connected to the desk somehow...or to the other person....it's an illusion if you will...there is a disconnect between your feelings and reality...your feelings, actually your brain, which sends these responses or signals to you, reminders of an upset or whatever, ---it is doing that to work thru and purge the event from your consciousness, from existence, so that you can move on from it and survive. You will.
Allow your mind to do its thing...the bothersome thoughts and/or feelings will fade... In time, the feeling from the upset will pass into obscurity. The memory of it may remain...sort of like a bit of gas after a meal, the emotions work themselves through your psychological tract...and you move on...
Replies
Interesting harry. Nothing lasts forever yet many things are taken for granted. Even though we may assume someone will be with us forever and they \"leave\", physically they may not be present yet physically they are present. We are all connected in some form. Mentally that personis still present by the waythey touched your life and the impression or lessonthey left behind. You mention the \"gas\" after a meal and even the same meal continues to nurish and rid itself as waste. In some cases that waste becomes fertilizer and so it continues to cycleitself through life.
Love reading yourjournals.
Sorry aboutthe lack of spaces between words. On a tablet and the space bar is being sassy.
That\'s very interesting too...you\'re right the memory of the event still exists in the mind and therefore it is \"living\" on in a physical way as long as the brain of the host remains...after that the whole lot becomes fertilizer...manure for fresh daisy\'s :p ... :). Thanks for perusing my journal ...no worries bout the spacing.
H.
lol- I was trying to avoid the connection of the whole lot becoming fertilizer cuz i didnt want to give off a metaphor of the whole lot becoming shit, but you know what I mean. Love reading your journals.
Allow your mind to do its thing...the bothersome thoughts and/or feelings will fade... In time, the feeling from the upset will pass into obscurity. I read this once and then again. And it stirs so many thoughts and gives me no pathways to write then down on. But you have inspired me. The words are trying to fall into place and soon my friend I will share them with you...I am expecting a major disclosure as a means of healings. And am having much trouble traveling these roads.