Throwing gloves on ground in a fit of rage! (i know what this is about...an inside reminder placed here so harry of the future will be able to refer and recollect).I realize things are changing. My external expression is now different from my internal one. I must show up and present with discretion, and am ok with that, as i understand its intent, and for empathetic purpose, will continue to go along with said request. Sad when you are IN on reality. Ignorance IS TRULY bliss. In retrospect I think I understand why people go wacko....it's all in the subtext.....ahhhh subtext......the underworld where our real internal reality exists.....the story behind what people see, what is presented to them...the past moments that have shaped the internal mood that exists in the present space side-by-side with all that is going on. Sometimes, especially in moments of anger that underworld is exposed and comes to the surface....and it can be confusing for those who think they know you, and you wonder if perhaps you did something to cause such rage. Until it is understood. And then you wonder if you were better off just thinking the person were just nuts or something, instead of understanding. I've known the Happy and Ignorant. I've met the Miserable and Brilliant. Happy people living to have fun as well as knowing those so miserable and unhappy, yet brilliant, wise, and intimidating (filled with book knowledge) that live to win arguments and debate....for some ego building purposes perhaps. I'm neither.Meaning-Making or Being "Right". It seems that's a lot about what being human is about. Along with attempting to stay comfortable, and helping to make others comfortable, and securing assistance of other humans to maintain that comfort, when one is unable. And Illusion building along the way perhaps created to justify ones existence, futile attempts to pass on ones present existence in some way beyond ones lifetime, which seems to be the grandest illusion of them all!Till the gates of delirium "happiness" is sought after. Even at the expense of the Ego, with vulnerabiltiy becoming exposed, unabashedly, desire pours out like water coming up from the dirt of an over watered plant. The H2O molecules move quickly above the soil, soooo saturated! Then settle back down....slowly....as if to say, "it's alright....just a bit full here....but i'll make room." There's always room for more, and never enough space.
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Fabulous words by an unhappy and brilliant and wise person!!! :)
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