OK, I'm just writing this to get away from the other journal entry that I wrote before this one which is really....well, not right....I seem to be in a bad way these days....maybe if I just write a little I'll feel better again.  Sometimes I feel like I have to have something to say before I write....

Anyway, I'm not gonna go out tonight and may be not for awhile...I'm not isolating I'm just, well, getting sick of people and I think I'm getting more depressed when I hang around them....Too many are bringing me down and I'm already down!!...OK so this might be a good move, no?  Yes it has to be...I've been neglecting my chores....laundry, basics! eating right, exercising....I'm so....well I've been so needing to be around people of late that I've put myself in a worse predicament overall cuz:

                  #1.    I created unfulfilled expectations in my mind and

         #2.   I ignored the basic things of my life....like taking care of myself....which I haven't been doing very well of late....

Sooooo,  although I will miss the companionship and comraderie of people I will now have the opportunity to handle things that I've been neglecting to handle....and I must be careful not to spend too much time on here cuz I think that can be a bad thing also if it is not done in moderation....and there are people on here that can bring me down as well and I need to be careful about that also and not become too DS dependent, which of course I have been I must admit....and I'm not sure if that is a good thing....I must use the site....I can't let the site use me....if that makes any sense at all....hmmm maybe I should sprinkle some smileys in here...I used to do that.....what is there to smile about!!?????....yeah really...oh boy I gotta....CHANGE.

Cool Song:  Bittersweet Symphony....funny thing jagger n richards wrote it.....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rWfkiNmbspo

It seems that if I'm too down others find it difficult to know how to respond to my journal entrys...hurt, n anger n Bitterness seem to carry with it an energy that seems to push people away...they're not sure how to respond, what to say....JUST AS Sweetness seems to carry with it a sticky attractive energy that seems to pull people in to my world~~~~~silly human race!!....I'm still the same ole me!!