oh whatever!! here i'll change my stupid smiley thing!...i'm not "horrible" any more i just havent felt like journalling anything lately.....so it stays on "horrible" and people think i'm doing horrible but i'm really just "ok"...well....maybe "bad"...a little angry i suppose....but not horrible really.....but i didn't feel like writin to change it.....but whatever i guess i gotta, huh?...well now that i gottcha here....hmmmm...nay forget it....i mean its all been said before anyway...no use typin about it....I didn't win the lottery for the Led Zepplin tickets so so much for my London trip....it woulda been too expensive prolly anyway....who knows? maybe they'll tour?  If so I'm sure they'll come here...going off there for a spell was just a fantasy escape anyway....a chance to run from me and go elsewhere....but the old cliche would hold true....yes, i'd have to take my self with.....funny how the mind works...little memorys sort of stay with you...odd seemingly insignificant moments like filling my car tires up with air on a damp night when the ground is wet and the air smells of rain...the whole scene at the gas station in the wee hours of the morning when no one is around...just you, your car and the air pump....why?? why do I think of that now?? something that occured years ago....just right now brought to the surface of my consciousness at 8:34 PM Monday 2007---what put that thought there??...Is perhaps someone from that place thinking of me and my mind picked it up?? Or is it just the way our brains work and when we relax or have a blank moment our brain just HAS to fill it with something....anything....for some reason only IT knows?....hmmm any neurologists on here??  h.