new life in an old vessel is what i feel like...trying to fit in this body without the buffer of numbness....i never really left actually...but the numbness and buffers did which made it increasingly difficult to manage in this skin. The "Me" is still here. The "I am" still exists. The roughness inside i feel i am slowly getting accustomed to....the pain is lessening, as are the hopeless thoughts...carefully woven in is a possibility of possibilities...struggling to understand my basics....all basics.....all primitive....no longer on autopilot i need to operate the controls....manage the fluid levels...keep it running.....avoid overload.....avoid underloads.....movement....cloudy thinking though...forgot the timeline, blasted in to another dimension of existence, and yet in the same place and time....only I'VE CHANGED....feeling my way through the confusion and uncertainty....no emotions, simply raw, raw nerves awakening to a new reality with a capacity to sense and experience outside stimulii yet wouldn't go so far as to call it emotions or comprehensive feelings...but i am open, experiencing and going along for the ride....
To help with the wake-up....Def Leppard "Rock of Ages" Live 1988
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6_RSG6X4-k&feature=related
To help with the wake-up....Def Leppard "Rock of Ages" Live 1988
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6_RSG6X4-k&feature=related
Replies
WOW H - very powerful...... great expression of your thoughts and feelings.....................
i felt like that after a certain traumatic experience last year... you will learn to work the controls. :)