I must be real depressed today...I can't get up the motivation to take a shower....I don't feel like doing sh*t! I've got to go to see the psychiatrist though (one of them...can't decide on one so I got 2 shrinks, 2 therapists 2 of everything...decisions have never been my area of expertise...some people just make them quickly...others procrastinate) anyway I got to get off my ass and shower if I'm gonna get the pills to keep me going....what a joke...but I need to do it...2 pm need to get there by 3:45 why am I so damn lazy...cuz of the stupid pills that's why! well maybe...I feel like eating something...I've got to handle work stuff too....been putting that off....great! depression sux! at least I'm less anxious though...gotta call doc's office and let her know I stopped the risperdal...they don't like it when you play doctor...liability and all...they don't give two shits about me as a person but they don't want to get sued if a patient weirds out on them---sad but truth.  It sux when I don't get messages or hugs or anything...people are doing their own stuff I guess...I wonder...no that might be tomorrow...maybe I'll go for a walk tonight I don't know the knee's acting up...pills pills pills don't underestimate their power they can cause havoc in every joint and bone and muscle...insidious stuff that's why they call it a doctors "practice" cuz they practice on people...little of this, little of that oh? your leg hurtz...sorry...how about this?...oh can't sleep? oops...well ohhhhtoooobaddd got a little headache huh? ...itz really nuts...but I got nuts so that's why I'm here...well great thing is that I've met some awsome folks on DS that I wouldn't trade for the world so if that is what it took to be here so be it !!  h.