Sad

I went for my cycle monitoring again today in hopes that my follicles had increased in size. Everytime they do an ultrasound it really hurts. The last few months were ok but this month they are really prodding. Sorry to say but my left side is still at 1cm and the right one is getting smaller day by day. On Wednesday the right side was 1 then Saturday it was 1.4 then it dropped to 1.3 yesterday and today it is 1.2. I asked the technician if this was normal or if she had seen this happen before and she just looked at me with that 'I really do not want to answer this" but as usual I charmed her into telling me. She has seen this before with others but can not explain why it is happening. I guess I just wanted a miracle this month, however part of me kind of knew it was not going to work. DH is so wonderful. It does not matter to him if we become parents. He is just happy to be with me. I guess I have to start convincing myself that the joy of pregnancy will never happen for us. I am glad that this is happening during the summer when I am not working because I really do not want to be a basket case in front of my students. On the brighter side we began our process for adoption. It will probably take us 2 years to finally become parents but at least the process has begun.