Wow 2008 has now begun and I feel kind of pensive...sort of optimistic but not the same kind of feeling I had at the beginning of 2007 which I was so focused on wanting to have children. I feel like I have been relieved from those feelings of wanting to just resolve myself to see what happens this year...but then again I can feel this way today and by tomorrow I will be depressed every time I hear a child say mommy to their mother or see a new born in their car seat. At the moment I feel like I have no control on whether or not I will be a mother some day. I watched a fortune teller on TV today and had a fleeting moment of wanting to call in to see if this year we become parents, then I was afraid that I would find out that the answer is no and that it will never happen. I decided to take each day as a gift and if it does happen then I will be so careful that I may even take time off just to relax about it. My mother determine that we had 35 wonderful happy years, that now that kind of happiness is gone. My brother passed away then I lost the baby, my parents and I are afraid to be happy incase it gets taken away. So, we can be happy for a moment knowing that it may not last tomorrow. So my wish list for 2008:1. Have a healthy happy baby(ies)2. Get out of debt3. enjoy life with my DH and family4. Finally clean up the basement