So I decided to take the rest of the week off...I have been enjoying baking cookies, then I realize that there is only Dan and I to eat them. I wanted to be one of those moms who makes the world best cookie that my kid would brag about. at the moment I can not see that happening. My parents doctor did tell them that there is 60% chance of miscarriages happening. I would give anything to still be pregnant and have a healthy baby, but now was not the time. June has now turned into the worse month for my family. My niece or newphew was suppose to be born on the 6th of June, Duane (brother) died June 7th and my child was suppose to be born June 17th...so now I know that June is a cursed month for us. Can a person actually hate a month?I am going through bouts of crying then numbness. I pretend to be happy about things because I really want some joy. I need to spread out the love I felt for this child to others...perhaps go to the seniors home and listen for a while, buy a gift for a needy child, give money on the streets or something. I can not let his passing go without some positive memory attached. Families are lucky if there are cousins, nieces, newphews etc...but my family only consists of my parents and DH. I am lucky that my friends children call us uncle and aunt and that may be the closest I will get to that title.So here I ramble...Yesterday the doctor told me that there could have something wrong with the baby genetically but both Dan and I need to be tested to make sure. She was just as in shock as we were. I am afraid that this was the closest I will get to having a child myself. This pregnancy used letrozole and an IUI and I am afraid that naturally it will never happen. People keep trying to reassure me that once you get pregnant the body can easily get pregnant again, however I am uncertain if you had assistence in the first place does this theory still hold?