The greatest gift in life is find out how blessed you are. I am so so blessed to have found DS and recieve so much support during this bleak time in my life. I started looking for answers after my brother's death in 2006, and now I am looking for answers as to why I lost the baby. I am hoping that we can concieve again and this time have a baby to love for years to come. But I really do miss this one...I have even named him (I guessed it was male) Liam and sometimes I think he is still there. I even dreamed that he told me (not as a baby but as a child) that this was ment to happen and he is happy in Heaven....that it is not my fault and that there will be children soon. How is that for a dillusion....or maybe I am crazy or perhaps my brain is reteeling me things that people have already said to me...whatever it is, I do feel a little more at peace until someone asks me what happened....I can not get over touching my baby, and I really do regret not seeing him when the doctor took him out. I know at 11-12 weeks they are just a fetus but to me he was my first born though did not live in this world he lived in mine for three months.So it has been four days since I lost him...life seems a little less hopeful but I have to admit, getting all the love and attention from everyone has certainly helped me....I just wonder if anyone had the same experience I did without the bleeding and the baby dropping....
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I believe that Liam was speaking to you...he is trying to make you go on & be happy...so difficult I know. I didn\'t have the same experience, but wish I had a chance to hold and touch my baby. So many women here had the chance to hold their babies since they were late m/c or stillbirth... but I don\'t know which is worse. Having gone that far in your pregnancy only to lose it or never having the chance to make it that far? I hope that Liam continues to speak to his mommy and helps to show you the way back to happiness. God Bless!