Boy am I so glad that it has taken me a while to write in the journal. We have had many visitors from NS that I forgot what a regular week feels like. Duane's birthday was on Tuesday. I met my mother at the cementary and we talked to Duane together. I then told my mother about his widow being 3 months preggos. When I had found out, I was so upset. She met the guy 10 months ago and now she is pregnant!!!!! Duane has only been gone for 1 year and 2 months and it seems so easy for her to move on. Then I remind myself that she is young and needs a family. That once you find happiness do not give it up. So I guess I am ok with things. I have been saying to my classes, that money is not everything and family means everything. I am now focusing on my family and hopefully adding to our family.I am certain Duane is in heaven looking out for his wife. He would have wanted her to move on and be happy, and timelines do not mean a thing where happiness is concerned. I just hope that he is advocating for dan and I in the baby department. I am so scared about cycle monitoring this month. So many drugs...I am also afraid that we are pushing so hard that it would adversly effect our child. I do nto know what to do. Well it is getting late and I am so sleepy