Figured out that I was feeling so blue and sad for a week because that time of month just hit. I have never felt cramping like this before. My doctor told me, it was because I never really had a full ovulation before and my ovaries are now working...Yippy, maybe this is the month to get preggers. I listened to my mother yesterday tell someone about our family and the loss of my brother. I am finally coming to terms with him being gone. I know that he is in heaven but I still miss him. Today I went over to my parents house to help my dad with his emails. I noticed a lot of pictures of my brother when he was younger displayed in the office. I can not imagine the immense pain that my parents are going through. i know how I felt when we thought that we were pregnant then nothing. Here they raised him, loved him, followed his ups and downs and gave everything to him (and me of course), then he was gone in a blink of an eye. How does one fill in the gap. The hole left behind. we are still trying ot figure out our new family dynamics. I pray that one day we can add more to our family than watch our family get smaller.