I have really tried hard to grieve and not let it interfere with work and with my friends...but now I have to let myself cry uncontrollably. June 2nd last year, my husbands car was stolen and we almost cancelled a BBQ with our parents and my brother and his wife. Since we do not want to disappoint anyone we did have everyone over for dinner on June 4th then three days later Duane passes away. I have been so emotional lately that I really need to have sometime this weekend with out friends or family...well maybe not family. I miss him very much. On saturday a few of his friends are getting together to honour him. I asked Dan if he wanted to go and he said yes. There was so many times Duane would invite me out for a drink with him and his friends, and I always gracefully declined because that was not my kind of thing...now I wish I went. I really do not have many regrets with Duane. I just wish that we had warning...something, so we can understand why he died. Instead we are left with more questions. how can this happen to one so young and in the prime of his career and life...to happen to someone so healthy and fit. For a person to pass on the day after their child was suppose to be born on. His wife has to grief not only her husband but child as well. it just isn't fair. So here I sit typing away, needing to express myself. In 7 days it will be one year. I have decided to take the day off and spend it with my parents and family. I want to make this a day of love filled with allthe joy that Duane had given us. A day to remember what an amasing person he was and all the contributions he had made.