Just when I think that I am coping really well a wrench is thrown into the mix. My sister-in-law is now planing to get married this summer. Duane has only been gone for less than a year and now she is getting married. I am not angry at her for moving on and finding happiness, I am perplex at how fast it has happened. it almost is like a when a person is dumped and rebounds to the next person. I want her to be happy and begin her new family. I am more upset at the fact that she can move on with her life and we will always be stuck with the loss....I know that it is selfish but how can I get over the loss...what are my parents suppose to do? We have tried to have a child but with all the stress and other complications that possiblity is not going happen....just when I begin to feel peace, this happens. I do not fault her for happiness and love. I do wish her all the love in the world, but I am a bit jealous that she can move on. Death sucks! Maybe they should have waited to get married...they were not married for very long when he passed away, perhaps another year she would have found the person she is going to marry this summer and this kind of thing would not have been a possibility. i was fine when she told us 2 months after his death that she had met someone, but now 8 months later she is getting married????? I need to vent this one out and reason it. She needs someone, she is young and has her whole life ahead of her, she wants the dream of a family and happiness... isn't that what we all want?
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Yes, family and happiness is the \"perfect\" dream...I had left a message to your discussion post, and just read your response...and after reading this, I see that she found her new man rather quick...but as I said everyone is different. I cannot judge her. She may have had a short marriage to your brother, but I am sure that the love was there...love hurts no matter how long it is/was there, and so does death.
It sounds to me that you care a great deal for your sister in law, and I imagine it feels weird to see her with someone else other than your brother...just doesn\'t seem to fit does it?
I have yet to let my in laws know that I have started to date, and personally, I can\'t for the life of me, figure out why I would even care what they think as most of them don\'t give a hoot about me anyway, but his son knows, and in fact, Travis is the main reason I went for it. He told me that when I was first asked out to go for it, that dad wouldn\'t want me to be so sad forever, that he, Travis, was giving me his blessings if that is what I was waiting for.
Being a young widow is difficult. I know that I can finish out my life without the aide of another man as I have made it this far...but dang, I could live another 30 to 40 years, my step son is married and on his own with his family, my daughter won\'t be 13 forever and will be out on her own someday...and there I will be, the lonely old widow woman on the corner! That thought scares the hell out of me.
I think your heart and dedication and devotion to your family is very strong...I can see that you want to protect not only your brother\'s memory, but your sister in law\'s heart...and that is admirable.
Just be there for her should she fall...
Best wishes to you and your family...lots of hugs, Kat