It's amasing how the anticipation of a long weekend is better than the weekend itself. I had so many plans and so far I have done none. I keep thinking that last year around this time, I had minor surgery and no one in my family knew about it. I also remember my brother calling and bugging me about loosing weight because that has an effect on trying to get pregnant. It will be a year since his death and I am trying to hold it together. when I am not busy is the time I greive. I am suppose to be relaxing and calm because we are trying to have a baby, but it is in those quite moments when I cry sometimes uncontrolably. I am still waiting for my period...past 49 days and no sign...the doctor told me not to take the porvera to bring it on since my hormones indicated that I would have it soon...when it comes I will need to take letrzole for three days...and who knows then...Maybe we were never meant to have children and that is why my brother passed away? Greiving certainly takes a toll on your body and soul. I so want to blame someone but there is no one...