update
Hey Everyone, this has been a long day for Steve. He has hurt pretty much all day. He perked up about 9 tonight after taking an oxicotton about 6. He slept for a good while in his chair while I kinda messed around on the computer and watched him sleep.
For the first time Steve asked me why he had to be the one with cancer. We had been with friends in our car club ( the first time we had been out in quite a while) and when we left he started to cry on the way home. Of course he can ask that, I have asked it many times! I can't bear to see him cry. He has become more emotional, the smallest thing can set him off. I know it is the pain. We saw the doctor on Tuesday this week and I asked again about the scans, was anything showing on the chest c-t? He said no, only the broken rib. It scares to think that maybe the cancer is hiding behind the ribs somewhere. He started the Sutent back on Thursday night. I guess he will be on that as long as he lives! That's ok of course, We surely don't want his kidney to fail.
So much cancer. Everywhere! A young man in our community died a few weeks ago. He was 36 with a wife and two small children. He fought so hard to live, a fine Christian man. Another child who had no chance at life. She was only 4. It seems to dominate our lives. Lord, please let a cure be found.
Please remember Meriel and David, and Ingrid and Ray. Becca and Tim. So many suffering, so many already lost.
God help us all,
Wanda
For the first time Steve asked me why he had to be the one with cancer. We had been with friends in our car club ( the first time we had been out in quite a while) and when we left he started to cry on the way home. Of course he can ask that, I have asked it many times! I can't bear to see him cry. He has become more emotional, the smallest thing can set him off. I know it is the pain. We saw the doctor on Tuesday this week and I asked again about the scans, was anything showing on the chest c-t? He said no, only the broken rib. It scares to think that maybe the cancer is hiding behind the ribs somewhere. He started the Sutent back on Thursday night. I guess he will be on that as long as he lives! That's ok of course, We surely don't want his kidney to fail.
So much cancer. Everywhere! A young man in our community died a few weeks ago. He was 36 with a wife and two small children. He fought so hard to live, a fine Christian man. Another child who had no chance at life. She was only 4. It seems to dominate our lives. Lord, please let a cure be found.
Please remember Meriel and David, and Ingrid and Ray. Becca and Tim. So many suffering, so many already lost.
God help us all,
Wanda
Replies
Oh Wanda -- My heart aches for you and Steve. I cannot imagine the agony that you are going through. I was very fortunate in the fact that Richard did not suffer from cancer and his illness was a very brief one. Know that you and Steve are in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I will ask the congretation at my church to put you on their prayer list.
Thank you for always be there for me when I need you.
Hugs,
Carla
My Dear Wanda,
my heart goes out for you both, i beleive like you do the pain brings on the very emotional side of Steve nd the \"whys\" can be endless.. To much suffering with cancer, please be sure Steve takes his Oxycontin at the same time everyday, as this will keep his pain in better control.. Tim, also takes this too, every 11-12 hours to keep his pain in control, and if this isn\'t enough a break thru pain med should be used for the in between times.. Tim, also hates to take pain meds too but the way he feels today, living with this kind of pain os worse than not taking the pain meds..
I know the feeling weh you say you can\'t help but not feel there is more going on behind the rib, all tho, rib pain is so painful for for Steve it has been way to long and the rib should be in some healing process by now.. I know because i have broken all the smaller ribs above my heart on each side and i don\'t think it took as long as it has Steve to heal.. So you have all the rights to think it may be more than what it is, with me it took a special exray to find my broken ribs..The hardest part is just trying to get the doctors to listen and this alone for any wife & caregiver to keep pushing for more testing.. I wish they could find a cure for all cancers, so many suffer, in our group, but everywhere it is such a very sad hard situation for the patients and famililes to fo through..I hope with Steve going back on the Sutent this will bring him some releif, he is a very sensitive, caring man, and he loves you so very much, as you love him.. A women that works at the drug store i go to told me the other day, things do get better and it made me wonder wheather she had been through anything that any of us ever have but it did bring that little bit of hope that dwindles away from me from time to time back to me..
Thank you for writing your journal, and thank you for the special prayers for Tim amd i, Ingrid and Ray, and D and Meriel, my very special prayers for you & Steve and all others suffering from cancer..
WE all love & care about you both so very much,
Love,
Becca
Dear Wanda,
I know it is so hard to watch them suffer and there are so many others dying from this disease. Age doesn\'t matter to it. Brian would have been 56 5 days after he passed, he wasn\'t ready, not done living. But we didn\'t have a choice. Make sure Steve keeps up with the pain meds, it is easier to stay ahead of the pain.
Love Julie
Wanda, I am so very sorry for all you and Steve are going though. your last lines say it all. WHY does it have to happen? WHY are so many having to suffer? WHEN will a cure be found that does not ravage your body and soul while trying to fight for the life that you love and the people you love?
I have a little girl in my daycare who has been a cancer fighter for four years now. That is the span of her life. she is four. Diagnosed at 2 weeks of age. she is just starting to feel better and latest scans came back ok. He mom now is fighting breast cancer...just diagnosed at the age of 30. WHY is the question, and the answers just do not come.
My neverending love goes to both you and Steve as he continues to fight. and those tears sweet Wanda, that he sheds are tears of also WHY. A strong man who has an aeven stronger woman behind him who will fight right along with him until there is no fight to give any longer. What a miracle you are in his life. A miracle I am so fortunate to know.
My LOVE to you both and my fingers and toes crossed that today you can enjoy each other with little pain and much joy.
Love YOU BOTH Diane
Wanda, so sorry that Steve is still in so much pain. It\'s really a tough thing to try to manage pain, I hope that the medical staff you are working with can find the best solution for Steve. You are so tender hearted, I know it\'s hard for you to hear Steve ask the \"why\" question, yet please be grateful he can share these thoughts with you. The journey you both are on is a really tough one, but you are on it together. There is too much cancer, too much pain and suffering in this world. It doesn\'t seem that there are any answers, but there is hope - eternal hope. You have been so strong in sharing your faith, and know that this has made a difference! Praying for you and Steve.
Love,
Karen
Dearest Wanda,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Steve, Tim and Becca and Ingrid and Ray, D and Meriel. There is so much suffering, that a cure cannot come soon enough. This disease has no mercy, it attacks young and old alike. I agree with Julie, if you keep ahead of the pain, it is easier than trying to catch up to it, once it it out of contril. The pain can be so hard for anyone to handle, I pray that Steve\'s breaks soon. I am so glad that he has that special chair, making it easier to get up. I will ask for prayers at church this Sunday. Big hugs to you both......Jane
Good Morning Sweet Wanda,
I hate so that Steve is in terrible pain. That has to be so awful for him and you. That chair must be a godsend now.
Thanks so much for asking for prayers for Ray and me. With all you have going on...you still reach out to others. God bless you, sweet friend.
I love you,
Ingrid
Dearest Wanda,
We all HATE cancer, it is the horrible monster that invades our loved ones and our lives and it seems our whole planet with its toxic tentacles. Why, we all ask why, over and over and over again. No answer. When will a cure be found?
Right now I know a husband AND wife, both battling cancer - she a rare breast type and he, liver. How and why can that be? Just heard of another young woman who lost her 3 year fight with cervical - 42 and left two young teenagers. Sadness, sorrow, tears in abundance.
My heart goes out to both of you.
love, gloria
Thank you so much for your comments. This site has been such a blessing to me. If I did not have my faith I could not handle the stress of all of this. We are doing ok this morning. The chemotherapy is preventing the ribs from healing so it will be a very slow go. If I can keep him the house! He has finally realized that MUST not do anything around the house. I am doing all the chores around the house and outside. I took my first mouse out in the trap the other day. I used a long pair of pliers and threw away trap and all! Yall know I HATE a mouse! and this was a BIG step for me!! LOL Love yall so much!!!
Wanda
EWWWWW! You are one brave soul!
Wanda - mice - me too!!! I too threw away trap and all - had to just keep buying them as I got rid of the little ******s!!!
And on a more serious note - have you got something to use for breakthrough pain? The names are probably different, but, oxynorm, oramorph, something fast acting like that? I absolutely believe that the pain causes the emotion and the sadness, or certainly doesn\'t help.
Thank you so much for your special prayers dear Wanda. I feel them, I really do, and I send you much love and light in return
Meriel
Dearest Wanda, There has been so much communication. I can\'t believe I am so late in reading this. I am so sad to think of what you and Steve and yes, so many others, are going through right now. I think you are a very strong person and I know you are helping Steve through this most difficult time of his life. The blessing your Steve has (and, my M had) is you by his side. Please take one day at a time and do call for help for you so that you can be there as much as possible. I love you, Linda
My sweet friend, Wanda,
I wanted to let you know that I sending luv and prayers to you and Steve, and that the pain gets under control. You are such a loving wife and friend to Steve and that is a blessing. I agree there are so many that are suffering, and I send prayers to all you and Steve, Tim and Becca and Ingrid and Ray, D and Meriel. There is so much suffering. Even in the midst of your pain you are always there for others... You are a wonderful friend.
I am blessed to have you !
luv,
Annette
Dear Wanda, God bless you .. It\'s so hard on Steve and it\'s so hard on you, but the love that you share is such a blessing. Count that as something that is special beyond words. There are many who don\'t have the love and devotion during the trying times.. They walk the path alone... God knew what he was doing when he put the two of you together.
You are a brave and strong soul and always in my prayers. Watch out for those yucky mice.
Much love, Rachel