A new day
Hi everyone,
It's been a while since I last wrote. I have been busy taking care of my hubby and my oldest daughter. Steve is somewhat handicapped with his rib. We went to Charlotte yesterday to the pain clinic and he had more injections. The doctor told him that if these did not work he would not be able to have any more. He would have to get by with pain pills until the rid heals. He also felt around on his back and told him "that radiation really did a number on you". That makes me think that he will have problems from now on with the possibility of breaking another rib. No one told us about the side effects of radiation. But when we think about it we are blessed to have another year! He has kept me busy with can you pick this up, will you bring me the remote, etc.!!! I have taken over the outside chores as well. I ask God for the strength to do it all and so far I have been able to keep it up!
I think Steve has decided to fill in our in ground pool. We have had it for 30 years and I think it is time to do it. I have wanted it done for a few years now but he would never give in to do it. It had to be his decision to do it and I think it will be for the best. It is going to cost quite a bit of money to do this and back when we put it in we had a 20x40 put in. It will take 20 loads of sand at 100 dollars a load so you can see just the dirt alone will be a bundle. Why did we have to put in a Dallas size pool. We used to watch the tv show Dallas and wanted a pool like that. We have used the heck out of it. Many many parties, church youth groups, entire church parties, you name it, we had them. But like all things time marches on. Our girls are grown and have not got in the pool for the last few years. Our gran daughter's other gran parents have a pool and they live beside her so that's not an issue anymore. I guess the broken rib help to make the decision. I have plans for a nice little patio and a place for our doggie to go out to potty without me having to go with him. A new fence and few other extras.
I have so many of you on my mind these days. Especially Merle and Julie. My heart breaks for these women. Both are so strong and yet I know they are so faithful to caring for their hubbys. Just like I know I will be. So many others who are desperate to find something, ANYTHING, to help their loved ones.
So many of you are struggling to move on, to find your new path in life. I pray for you also. As you know I have a strong faith, one that will help me when the time comes. I believe in heaven and in hell. When my Steve takes his last breath (whenever God deems it is time ) I find tremendous comfort in knowing that he will be in the presence of God! something we look forward to. Will I struggle like all of you? You can count on it. But I know that he will wait for me on the other side. With none of the pains that seem to be a part of our lives now. With our precious Jesus Christ. (can I get an Amen)
Now I need to say to all that I am not a goodie goodie! Just ask Steve he will tell you that I can cuss with the best of them! hehe not proud of it, have to ask forgiveness pretty often. Fooled some of you right?
I need to hush, love you all
Wanda
It's been a while since I last wrote. I have been busy taking care of my hubby and my oldest daughter. Steve is somewhat handicapped with his rib. We went to Charlotte yesterday to the pain clinic and he had more injections. The doctor told him that if these did not work he would not be able to have any more. He would have to get by with pain pills until the rid heals. He also felt around on his back and told him "that radiation really did a number on you". That makes me think that he will have problems from now on with the possibility of breaking another rib. No one told us about the side effects of radiation. But when we think about it we are blessed to have another year! He has kept me busy with can you pick this up, will you bring me the remote, etc.!!! I have taken over the outside chores as well. I ask God for the strength to do it all and so far I have been able to keep it up!
I think Steve has decided to fill in our in ground pool. We have had it for 30 years and I think it is time to do it. I have wanted it done for a few years now but he would never give in to do it. It had to be his decision to do it and I think it will be for the best. It is going to cost quite a bit of money to do this and back when we put it in we had a 20x40 put in. It will take 20 loads of sand at 100 dollars a load so you can see just the dirt alone will be a bundle. Why did we have to put in a Dallas size pool. We used to watch the tv show Dallas and wanted a pool like that. We have used the heck out of it. Many many parties, church youth groups, entire church parties, you name it, we had them. But like all things time marches on. Our girls are grown and have not got in the pool for the last few years. Our gran daughter's other gran parents have a pool and they live beside her so that's not an issue anymore. I guess the broken rib help to make the decision. I have plans for a nice little patio and a place for our doggie to go out to potty without me having to go with him. A new fence and few other extras.
I have so many of you on my mind these days. Especially Merle and Julie. My heart breaks for these women. Both are so strong and yet I know they are so faithful to caring for their hubbys. Just like I know I will be. So many others who are desperate to find something, ANYTHING, to help their loved ones.
So many of you are struggling to move on, to find your new path in life. I pray for you also. As you know I have a strong faith, one that will help me when the time comes. I believe in heaven and in hell. When my Steve takes his last breath (whenever God deems it is time ) I find tremendous comfort in knowing that he will be in the presence of God! something we look forward to. Will I struggle like all of you? You can count on it. But I know that he will wait for me on the other side. With none of the pains that seem to be a part of our lives now. With our precious Jesus Christ. (can I get an Amen)
Now I need to say to all that I am not a goodie goodie! Just ask Steve he will tell you that I can cuss with the best of them! hehe not proud of it, have to ask forgiveness pretty often. Fooled some of you right?
I need to hush, love you all
Wanda
Replies
Sweet Wanda, I just sent a hug to someone and we were talking about screaming in the car. I told her that the EXPLITIVES can fly there too when i\'m by myself! lol I hear ya fine lady!!1 ;-)
And your faith, and your WILL OF IRON you have now with doing the chores and all else that needs doing will see you through and know we are all here for you too my dear friend. i remember WELL being able to leap tall bildings with a single bound when Greg was ill, and KNOW that you are doing just that.
your strong faith will help you in knowing that Steve \"when it\'s his time\" and let hope not for a long time, will be with the savior. And YOU? You will go through this with the grace i see right now. Of this I have the deepest faith. Faith in you and Steve\'s LOVE that will last through anything that happens.
Love to you, and radiation STINKS!!! I KNOW. Stay strong like you are!!1Love, Diane
I am so sorry that Steve is having problems with pain control. And you have so many responsibilities! You are so brave and have so much faith:-) It encourages me that you admit to making mistakes, as I do too and then ask for forgiveness. Hang in there!
Love, hugs & prayers,
Lois
Dear Wanda, I think you are doing an amazing job in trying to hold down the house and care for Steve and everything else....but, I hate to tell you, you are not superwoman. Please reach out for help now....you don\'t need to wait. Start asking family and friend to support you and Steve with the house chores. If you can\'t do that, then hire someone to do some of it for you. You really need to keep up your health. I tried to do it all and under the stress, I had my accident and fractured my heel....remember? If I weren\'t so stressed, perhaps that wouldn\'t have happened to me. I don\'t want you to get sick or hurt. Please take care. That is all the advice I have. I love you my friend. Linda
God is good... I am happy that things are working out for you at this time. I really hope it keeps up. I think of you often, you know I do. Bob had dirt hauled in the yard when we first moved in our place to make it nice and level but it was \"dirty dirt\" so we didn\'t have to pay the loads just kept comming and coming, he smoothed our yard right out. He loved to play in dirt. lol
I hope you show us your new pool after completion dear.
Love Ya
~CB
Wanda honeybunch - hello! I love the idea of your Dallas size pool!I We have a muddy stream....
You\'ve got a lot on your plate right now, and I second others above about getting a bit of help - as we all know, sadly we are fallible too. However, I also send you a big WELL DONE for getting everything done yourself - when we turn our minds to things, it\'s surprising and satisfying just how much we can accomplish, is it not!
Lots of thoughts and pain relieving prayers coming your way
love you, Meriel
Keep on keepin on Wanda, your faith will see you through.
Blessings on you and Steve as you soldier on.
gloria
Dear Wanda,
i am so sorry that Steve is still suffering from the pain in his rib from that terrible radiation he had.. Tim has refused to have any radiation therapy at all, this was one of the options for him to try and shrink the 3 cm bone met in in Humerus (upper arm) or do both radiation and oral treatment.. What i learned about radiation and mRCC bone mets that it doesn\'t do anything too shrink them, i myself have always been against it too.. Tim may of overheard me telling someone about the radiation not doing anything but i don\'t think he did, he made up his own mind on that.. I basically think when he saw his brother go through the radiation with his terminal cancer, he never wanted that for himself..
One thing i do want you to know Wanda, now that just about everything is for you to do, please do get plenty of rest time, you have alot to carry on your plate right now and i don\'t want to see what happened to me happen to you too.. It sneaks up on you Wanda, before you know it and when you aren\'t taking good care of yourself bang you get real sick.. I tried to take better care of myself for years but the stress i just couldn\'t let go of and all the stress caused me to keep doing everything and never eat or get enough rest.. All i can say is today i haven\'t felt this good as i am now in such a long time, i know today i will never go back and get into those old patterns of not taking care of myself.. WE all have so much that needs to be done but putting our minds & bodies at such risks as i did with my breathing this last time, i will never do that to myself ever again.. There is nothing that important that i feel needs to be done to let this happen to me again, it gave me a good scare thats for sure !! Just for me Wanda, go easy on the outside chores, you have alot to do now with taking care of Steve and we both want to be at our healthiest when the time comes when Tim & Steve will need us the most.. You can also work out a good system so Steve can have the remote and anything else he needs next to him all the time.. I did get a good chuckle when you added that in to your journal about Steve asking for the remote, Tim still trys to pull that one on me still and it\'s always right next to him so all i have to do is point and he reaches for it ha ha !! Men, they can be so funny with the ways they have & try to get us to do the little things for them.. I made the mistake with spoiling Tim, but i got out of that fast, so try not to spoil Steve to much !! Ha Ha !!
Now take good care of you, my friend,
Love,
Becca
Wanda, I am so sorry to hear that Steve is having so much pain with his rib. I pray that things turn around soon. The idea of filling in the pool is a great one, I may have to fill in my fish ponds, but such is life, it will be easier to care for a garden than the ponds. I will pray for you both, you need to take some time for you. I know how strong you are, but I do worry about you. Love Jane