notes to a friend..... you are so cheesy....anyway let me update you so we don't spend to much time on details, on the phone.things with "r" are pretty much the same. i really thought that if he got sober, things between us would be better. but i am finding that we still have the same anger, mistrust and disappointments as before. i want to take responsibility for my part, cause i have not been a perfect angel. what i really want to do is find a way to find myself despite of the obstacles and insecurities in my life. the little girl that got away from the kidnapper this weekend really made an impact on my. she said that she just thought about her life and what would happen to her if she did not do something. so she bit him and ran away. so simple and basic. she struck out and ran for help. eight years old. what a hero. she recused herself. anyway, im not saying that i am ready to leave him again, only that i didn't know what i was in for. i have never had a sober relationship with him before and i don't really like him. yesterday was the first real fight we got into since he's been back. he had ignored me sunday and monday i was done. he asked me why i'm being such a bitch. WOW, i forgot what that was like being called names? again! he says i havn't done ANYTHING for him that i am not being supportive. REALLY! so i told him to pack his shit and just leave. i don't mind. its not like i need him for anything anyway. anyway, bet you don't miss the married fights...ha-ha. we havn't spoken since. the problem is he wants me to go with him to AA and the other classes he has to take for hitting me and DUI. I DON'T WANT TO. If he was going to improve his life oka, but i've done all that with him already and it doesn't work. we have been down this road already and i am not ready to give up my lifestyle just cause he is. anyway, i haven't really been able to talk to anyone about this cause nobody likes me being with him and they don't want to hear it anymore. i've just been holding it all in. i'm still on my meds and i feel pretty good. i need to walk again too. i miss doing that. talk to you later.