Bordeline Personality Disorder vs Bi-polar. Finally, i think i found a description of how my life is. This can explain in my mind why i do some of the things i do. I have wondered for years why when i get my life straight...i go straight to destruction mode and destroy all the positive things i build. It also makes sense why I continue to return to  bad relationships, why i go from Euphoria to Extreme Let-Downs. I am researching these two diagnosis and try to analyze myself. I am returning to treatment and i have decided to DO THE WORK this time. In the past i have done the work half-ass. Taking my meds, not taking my meds, going to treatment, skipping out. Making major life changing decisions during a manic or anxiety attack. I'm reading my past journals and finding definite manic moments both ups and downs. Lots of signs and areas that need my attention. If anyone has advise i'd appreciate it.