What a difference a few hours can make, i recommend that each of us periodically go back and read our journal. That's what i have done today, it has helped me remember why i am willing to be in pain right now, so that i don't have to be in HIS pain anymore. This is temporary. I heard a song that made sense to me today, I'd rather be in pain than not feel anything at all, wow that is what i have been doing for the last 10 years. Thanks all for your support today.