I was sexually abuse by my father, then my childrens father sexually abused one of our daughters, then i get involved with this maniac that is also violent. I just don't know when it will finally stop. When I will find someone that will love me and not hurt me or my kids. Anyway 40 years of abuse is enough. I am tired and physically I have pain and injuries from all that abuse.
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2.16.06 My questions here is when will it stop, like IT can stop on its own. I have to be the one to take a stand and make it stop. I think IT is acutally ME. The statement should probably be when will I make IT stop.
3.10.07 I can honestly say that i am alot happier now that i am free from that man. i have my moments, but, i know i am doing the right things in taking care of myself. i feel like i am breaking the cycle of violence in my life.
i have since let him back in my life and i am beginning to regret it. although he is sober, he is not all there and he is using other stuff.
Last evening i was having flashbacks. This had not happened in quite a while, they were vivid and i could not sleep. I am in a manic moment and i am just trying to get a grip. After all these years i thought i would have forgotten what my father did to me as a child. NOw he has Alzheimers and has the privilege of not having to remember, i\'m the one stuck with the memories....sucks for me.
11.8.7 my nights are alot better now and i can make decisions for myself and i am happy with what i have done in my life.
what a difference one year makes, i have kept him out of my life and i know i made the right choice. now i just have to kept the left over demons out too.
1/3/8 although we are not together, he still wants to be with me. I have only one tie to him and i\'m done. i\'m almost there, I know i can make it.
I DID IT.....IT OVER. AND I AM SO SO SO HAPPY.!
2010...it still took two years for me to TRULY end it. what a waste of time and effort i put into that relationship. now i am building a new one with myself.