Struggling
I am finding it hard being back home. I have been weepy and agitated since we got back. I suspect part of it is jet lag but I think the main reason is that I am back in reality. My son-in-law and Beth are planning their wedding for February so I am hearing about wedding plans. They are doing kitchen renovations - ones that Lisa and Harvey dreamed about. I feel very resentful at times. I told Beth that I would not recognize the house when I am there. She assured me that I would but it is just hard. The wedding is going to be in Calgary so there is no excuse to miss it. I did promise Cevyn (our granddaughter) that I would go. I also promised Cevyn that I would go there for Christmas - at least I will be able to visit Lisa in her final resting place and place a candle at her grave.
Lisa: I miss you so much it hurts. I love you forever. Mum
Lisa: I miss you so much it hurts. I love you forever. Mum
Replies
So understandable to be feeling this way my friend, how could you not be? Being back to the reality of our lives can feel so surreal at times. Almost as if this life that we have now just cannot be ours and has to be for someone else.
The marriage of your son-in-law is such a major heartstring puller. Just do what you can and what feels okay for you and being there for Cevyn is such a gift for both of you. Our minds know that their significant others will move on yet it still hurts when they do. My son\'s girlfriend is married now and has a daughter and I too wish that it was their marriage, their daughter... deep, deep sigh...
Gentle care as you slowly get back into step and so much loving understanding sent to you. Love and hugs, Joanie
That wedding will be hard and so will visiting the house, but you have sisters here that are always with you..((hugs)) Nora
Marlene, I can only imagine the mixed emotions you must be feeling. You will make the right decision for you I am sure regarding the wedding.
I always feel sadness when I come home from time away because reality hits hard when we return, I think. I wish you a peaceful night. Love, Linda