Green Smiley Monday
I had a journal written and somehow I managed to delete it!
So it went something like this: I am finding it hard to be green and smiley these days. It has been emotional as the daughter of Lisa's childhood friend is getting married and I went to the shower on Saturday. I wanted to cry through the whole thing. Lisa should have been there! Harvey and Beth are coming for the wedding - it should be Lisa and Harvey!
I am trying to be positive and thankful for all that I have - family and friends. However I have times of panic when I think the unthinkable - what if I lost another family member.
It seems the longer Lisa has been gone, the more I miss her - I really do believe that she is with me but it isn't the same without the conversations, hugs, jokes etc.
But it is Monday and I did decide that I would try to find the smiley so here goes: Cevyn, Lisa's cherished daughter is arriving on Friday. She is coming with a friend for the Calgary Stampede and wedding. Then we are flying back to Ottawa with them and then we head to Greece. So it is something to smile about. I will try not to focus on the what ifs.
I hope everyone has a great week!
Lisa: I miss you always and love you forever.
So it went something like this: I am finding it hard to be green and smiley these days. It has been emotional as the daughter of Lisa's childhood friend is getting married and I went to the shower on Saturday. I wanted to cry through the whole thing. Lisa should have been there! Harvey and Beth are coming for the wedding - it should be Lisa and Harvey!
I am trying to be positive and thankful for all that I have - family and friends. However I have times of panic when I think the unthinkable - what if I lost another family member.
It seems the longer Lisa has been gone, the more I miss her - I really do believe that she is with me but it isn't the same without the conversations, hugs, jokes etc.
But it is Monday and I did decide that I would try to find the smiley so here goes: Cevyn, Lisa's cherished daughter is arriving on Friday. She is coming with a friend for the Calgary Stampede and wedding. Then we are flying back to Ottawa with them and then we head to Greece. So it is something to smile about. I will try not to focus on the what ifs.
I hope everyone has a great week!
Lisa: I miss you always and love you forever.
Replies
Marlene, it is so hard without our kids and not at all as we imagined our lives would be right now. I understand and I am proud of you for focusing on the positive. Love to you and Lisa, Linda
I am sorry your days have been harsh. I hope you can have some wonderful, gentle days on your vacation. Hoping to hear about it when you get back.
With love,
Leda
Grand daughters are always something to smile about..Enjoy your time with Cevyn. Marlene, I understand your worry and fear of losing another family member, I definitely share that with you. We all need to enjoy the moment without thinking about the bad things that could happen, it\'s true though that it\'s easily said than done. I\'m sending you prayers for peace in your heart. Terry
Dear Marlene, I understand the fear. So deeply. I only have Byron now. And unless he procreates, no grandchildren. I think the more time we spend together, though, the less I worry. (Ha no pressure.) I\'m just aware that I don\'t want my worries (which don\'t help anyway) to get in the way of the good life we all can live. After all the heartbreak and loss, I just want us all to be really loving and kind and patient with each other, know what I mean? I have a need for sweetness. My mom says worry is like a rocking chair: you go back and forth and you don\'t get anywhere. : ) Have a GREAT time with beautiful Cevyn and enjoy the moment, this moment.
Love, Sarah
You are at the 18 month mark. Mine was last January and I found 18 months horrifically difficult. The numbness and shock are completely worn off and the stark reality of living the rest of our lives without Lisa and Corrie\'s physical presence is settling in. It\'s hard. Really hard.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting to rejoice and be glad for all the good things happening to those around us but that tiny corner of our hearts is always saying \"Lisa/Corrie should be here...\"
Bravo to you for striving for the positive ~ I rejoice that you will be with Cevyn and visiting Greece! I\'m all for distractions and escape and this will be a wonderful, joyful time for you!
Sending much love to all ~ Debbie
I understand this completely...and I think that we are entitled to just feel stuff...if we do not then we are suppressing things...so allow the feelings...but try not to \"stay there\"....you are doing good. Love and hugs...Karen
Thank you everyone! It helps to know that you understand me,
Big hugs everyone,
Marlene
God love you! I am missing my sister, Lisa, horribly also. It\'s nice to know that others are dealing with similar circumstances. Know others care. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong! Put up those muscles! That\'s what I used to tell my Lisa when she missed our mom or dad. Gotta be strong. But cry when you need! Go with your feelings. Life can be so rough. This too will pass.