Feelings

Ever since Burt died I've been off and on about how I feel. I feel ok, then I feel empty and in a fog. I feel very upset and cry and talk to Burt as though he's still here. Then I feel numb inside like everything is on hold or at a stand still until I figure out how to feel at the end of all this grief! Sometimes I feel as though I'm going crazy. I'm ok at work, but I'm constantly thinking about Burt and what happened to him at the end. Today, I was thinking about what he might have been thinking when he died. Other times I think I can call him and ask him what happened or tell him about his dog, but then I think, if I could call him, he'd still be here. This is very hard to except. It's hard to think that it's real. I guess its surreal! Its too real! Very hard to believe its real and that he's really gone! I want him back and that is crazy.....! I did love him til death do us part even though we weren't together at the end or much before! I'll always love him....! Forever and always!