My Story
Hello everyone. My name is Mary. I am currently fifteen years old. I am writing this to tell you the story about how I became this way. I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time. I just need to let all of these feelings go.
From third through eighth grade, I've been severely bullied. People would torment me. They would kick me, punch me, spit on me, and most of all, call me names, such as "ugly", "fat", "weak", "stupid", and "worthless". Hearing this words and being treated so poorly almost every day broke my spirits. When I entered middle school, I wasn't being physically bullied, but emotionally bullied. More than one group of girls and more than one group of guys would pick on me. They told me to cut and kill myself. I began cutting on January 21, 2012, and stopped on June 6, 2014. I have attempted to kill myself five times. I am currently not being bullied, and am planning on leaving the past in the past, even though it's hard.
On May 29, 2013, I began dating this guy. For the first couple of months, he was amazing to me, and very sweet. He told me that he had anger problems, but I didn't believe him or think much of it because he was so sweet. But then he started checking my phone, and two weeks before we started high school, he told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to guys. To make this fair, I told him that he couldn't talk to girls either. He did anyway, so I figured that it would be okay for me to talk to guys. He was mad that I did, and I told him not to be a hypocrite. He still kept talking to other girls, and lied to me about kissing another girl. I lost my love for him, but he forced me to not leave him with physical actions (not making love, but abuse and rape). I remember when he forced me to hangout with him and his friends and I talked so it wasn't awkward for me, because I get extremely nervous in social situations. He grabbed my arm tightly, so hard that it left a bruise, and said I wasn't allowed to talk no guys and that there was no exception. I would wave at a guy friend because I didn't want to just cut them all off and be mean, and he'd be there to shove me around. He told me not to act childish but I did anyway because it was a part of who I was. He hit me. I remember when I found out that he sent porn files around, and I cried, and he slapped me twice across my face. I tried hitting him back once, and he punched me in the stomach. Whenever his mom caught me crying, she wouldn't admit that her son was abusive towards me, and said I was overly dramatic. He ended it with me when I talked to a guy friend about the Walking Dead on December 1, 2014. I do not miss him. He abused me physically, verbally, and emotionally. I am happy without him.
Now that I have one less problem without him, I still can not come out to my family that I am an atheist. I can not come out to them that I am a transsexual, that I was born to be a boy, not a girl. I can not come out to them that I am a biromantic asexual. And my family will not accept the fact that I have depression.
I am attempting to leave all of my past behind me.
I needed to get this out there. Thank you all, for those who listened.
From third through eighth grade, I've been severely bullied. People would torment me. They would kick me, punch me, spit on me, and most of all, call me names, such as "ugly", "fat", "weak", "stupid", and "worthless". Hearing this words and being treated so poorly almost every day broke my spirits. When I entered middle school, I wasn't being physically bullied, but emotionally bullied. More than one group of girls and more than one group of guys would pick on me. They told me to cut and kill myself. I began cutting on January 21, 2012, and stopped on June 6, 2014. I have attempted to kill myself five times. I am currently not being bullied, and am planning on leaving the past in the past, even though it's hard.
On May 29, 2013, I began dating this guy. For the first couple of months, he was amazing to me, and very sweet. He told me that he had anger problems, but I didn't believe him or think much of it because he was so sweet. But then he started checking my phone, and two weeks before we started high school, he told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to guys. To make this fair, I told him that he couldn't talk to girls either. He did anyway, so I figured that it would be okay for me to talk to guys. He was mad that I did, and I told him not to be a hypocrite. He still kept talking to other girls, and lied to me about kissing another girl. I lost my love for him, but he forced me to not leave him with physical actions (not making love, but abuse and rape). I remember when he forced me to hangout with him and his friends and I talked so it wasn't awkward for me, because I get extremely nervous in social situations. He grabbed my arm tightly, so hard that it left a bruise, and said I wasn't allowed to talk no guys and that there was no exception. I would wave at a guy friend because I didn't want to just cut them all off and be mean, and he'd be there to shove me around. He told me not to act childish but I did anyway because it was a part of who I was. He hit me. I remember when I found out that he sent porn files around, and I cried, and he slapped me twice across my face. I tried hitting him back once, and he punched me in the stomach. Whenever his mom caught me crying, she wouldn't admit that her son was abusive towards me, and said I was overly dramatic. He ended it with me when I talked to a guy friend about the Walking Dead on December 1, 2014. I do not miss him. He abused me physically, verbally, and emotionally. I am happy without him.
Now that I have one less problem without him, I still can not come out to my family that I am an atheist. I can not come out to them that I am a transsexual, that I was born to be a boy, not a girl. I can not come out to them that I am a biromantic asexual. And my family will not accept the fact that I have depression.
I am attempting to leave all of my past behind me.
I needed to get this out there. Thank you all, for those who listened.
Replies
Hello, Mary!
It\'s so good of you to share your story with everyone. Thank you. I am truly sorry that you have gone through all that you have. I promise you, though, it does get better. You\'re alive today and that is a wonderful accomplishment. Celebrate being alive! Treat yourself well, love yourself, and take care of yourself.
There is a wonderful transgender support group here on this site. You should check it out! I would love to see post from you.