The other day I was sitting on the couch watching nature outside the french doors. I guess I was day dreaming, then all of a sudden a dark wave came over me, my son is gone forever....  I don't understand where that came from it popped up and into my head.  I felt horrible all over again , is my mind playing tricks on me or being very mean.  I was so depressed the rest of the day.  I do not know how to deal with the mysteries of the mind.  It was like I was being put in my place back into the dark.  My heart cannot take it  just trying to get through to  my next step down the grief stricken path.
My granddaughters came over and I also kept my grandson they kept me busy.  Running after a busy 2 yr old is good for this soul. The twins kept finding bugs and Mikie would laugh at the catapillars crawling all over and the twins putting them on the screen  for him to hit and watch them fly off onto the ground.  Boy was I glad when the 3 of them fell asleep.
 
Well Mike if you could see your son I know you would laugh yourself to tears watching him make your dad pull him in the wagon and walk with him outside just inspecting the yard. Doing all the things he used to do with you when you were  that age.  Next he will teach him to be a big flurt  but I think it comes out just because he is cute and adorable and girls like that.  That reminds me of you at that age and older......  Mom