Court tomarrow at 7:30am, Ashie has to talk to the judge about if she wants to stay with me, stay with her parents and me, or stay with Peter, my oldest brother. The only problem is he lives all the way in L.A. I don't want her that far. I tryed talking to Ashie last night, she just sat there. Caitie told me what happend while I was gone. She wont let Caitie do her hair in the morning or even let Caitie touch her. She is doing that rocking thing more and more. I just feel so guilty that I was the one that caused one little girl so much hurt. I went in her room last night and she was shaking from a nightmare, I put her on my lap and rocked her back to sleep at about midnight but she was up again at like 4.I called a few people who i think can help her. I got ahold of a few therapist that treat phobias and irrational fears, she has an apointment for monday. I also contacted a few different phychologists about her cutting and just so she can talk with someone about home life. She goes with one on Tuesday and another on Wednesday. I just wish I could go back in time and fix all this. I could have said no to her going with her aunt and getting her fears in the first place, I know understand all of this is because of me. I have to be the worse brother in the world. I hate myself now,I can't stand seeing her like this. I just want my baby girl back.