Today has been a great day!! I'm GF since 10/23/2012 and for once in a really long time, I'm a little bit proud of myself. My wife may still never forgive me, but I think I'm beginning to forgive myself. More and more I am realizing that I'm a compulsive gambler but I'm also a million other good things that outweigh that. I've dug myself in a financial mess, but God has blessed me with the ability to get myself out of it in time. One day at a time, one second at a time. I tend to look at the damage from my gambling in its totality yet I fail to realize it is really a culmination of numerous days that led to that. If I stick to this one day at a time, that teeter totter will head to the other side. The Greeks said Per Adua Ad Astra..Through hardship to the stars. I believe them. I'm inspired by all the success stories I read from so many here I look up to. I pray for those that are coming here for their first time and/or struggling with a relapse. I have an addiction but I AM NOT my addiction. I pray that The Lord gives me another day to battle this addiction. The opportunity to come to the field of battle is a gift from God in and of itself. I'm thankful I'm blessed with each new day I get to fight and I pray that I win the battle for that day. I need to come here moreso and share with those that are struggling as I am and as I have. It wasn't long ago I was seriously contemplating suicide. I'm ashamed of that. My kids need a broke Dad much more than a deceased one. I'm thankful for this site and the people on it. And while I hate this addiction with a passion, if be lying if I didn't feel gratified for the days I beat it back. I know it's always there, but I'm ready to keep it right where it is. Dormant!