BEING GRATEFUL When my charater defects come out in full force like yesterday (ego,control, and I am sure a few others) and I choose not to be around people that DO NOT need to here my shit just because I am off my square for that I am grateful. Plus  theres  another upside I don't have to any on the 10th step because I surely would from past experiances.  The only reason I can come up with what happen is, as I firmly believe I had a thinking problem way before I had a drinking problem, things were good working away and I heard a song LIVING OF THE EDGE and Ihad a fleeting thought hell its wasn't so bad out there in the madness because for me thats what it was alot about. Its like addiction if you have never been there you can't relate. Anyway I dropped everything went to a meeting talked to a few friends and went back to work with no availe I was still in my shit. 4 hours later I recieved a call to chair a meeting in the worst side of town for people that live on the street or are on there way there.  The topic was the 2nd and 6th step that one was for me, anyway was a great meeting about gratitude and just being alive quite moving, BUT afterward still in myself. So as I have been taugh twhen we get like this to go to a meeting hell already been to 2 so I made a decision to go 3rd last night and shared after hearing how happy joyous and free some where and LET LOOSE.  Got called on some of my shit after venting, came home went to bed and now here I sit feeling better and reflecting on yesterday and realize some days are just because 'it is what it is" get over it and move on. But again throught this process I choose not to inflict others to my shit because today I have been taught through the 12 steps its NOT ALL ABOUT ME!   One thing for sure a bad day clean and sober is sure a hell of a lot better then my best day out in the madness living on the edge.. untill next time