Well I wasn" going to write tonite then there was this need too. Very busy day but theres a family issue is kicking my ass been bothering me for a couple days and thought the answer came this morning recieded an email from friend of mind hit it right on the head what is troubling me, this happens often but I dont even question it anymore. Before I would dive right in without thinking and try to control things but working on my character defects is always in order. The time wasnt right and didnt push it, but with patients, and asking for direction and guidance from my higher power it will come usually does. Went over and spent a hour with my mom walking and talking enjoying the great weather she ask me something to the effect what was most important to me in this world told her it was being sober and no more pills because without that I would not be good to her or anyone else, at one time I always told her she was most important but when I told her that she just smiled nothing else had to be said, that moment will stick with me for sometime, again theres a reason for that moment but no need to ask why. Then the bubble burst, there was a NA meeting around the corner havent been to the other fellowship in over a year and good friend was there that cross addicted and this guy started sharing for 10 minutes and looked at my friend and said is this guy giving an open talk or something and he look at me and said you come in late sit down and start doing this guys inventory boy you talk about getting called on your shit I sit there for a minute and told him he was right and thanked him again something happened there I was suppose to be there to hear thar message because Im sure if I did it there I was doing it somewhere else so now I know I have to work on that. Well didnt plan on a book here thought just write allite must of needed it plus I made a decision to write better in this journal and takes sooo much more time plus I cant spell worth a shit so I look up the correct spelling (most the time) but thats ok too. Tomarrow is another day and looking forward to it there was a time I never thought Id say that but even a bad day clean and sober is soooo much better then any day out in the madness TILL NEXT TIME