Pain

I hurt, this I know but in a way I can't feel it. No, thats not right I feel it plenty but I would much rather it be physical than emotional. I've already tried twice in less than a year could I at least have a short break. I could go down an even more dangerous road. Wepons would be the devils opertunity of choice. I'm afread with absoutly no fear if that makes any sence at all. Probably not. I also feel worth less. Less even than a single piece of dirt can't do anything right or wrong. How? Why? Does anyone ever really care? :'(