Just stuff
I am sitting here waiting for hubby to call to pick him up. He went out to california for business. the business deal sounds like it is going to work out well. I have been so bored and restless since he has been gone, I usually enjoy it when he is out of town I get to do some small projects and whatnot, but not this time i just couldn't get started. I kept trying to start the thoughts were there but I just couldn't seem to get going.
I wanted to paint my countertops in the kitchen, there is nothng wrong with them except the colour. i have seen where they use the melamine paint on laminate. I just want to get a couple more years out of them before we replace them.
i seem to sit all day and think about all the things I want to get done and never seem to do any of them. I get all the regular stuff done, the housework and the cooking but I can't seem to get going on anything else. I seem to be stuck sonehow. I've been thinking that I would like to do some sewing and some gardening and maybe take up painting....but thinking is the furthest I get. Maybe this is depression, it feels different though. It is like i have this routine and I can't get out of it....I don't have anything that is pressing, I mean how much tv can one person watch.....maybe it is a way of not facing things or distancing myself from dealing with anything, even though I think I am dealing well with everything that is going on.
I know that the weight issue is bringing me down, I didn't realise how vain i was until my looks started going to hell....maybe that is the lesson i am supposed to learn from this. But I am a littled pissed too, I mean I spent 18 yers overweight and then i finally lost the weight and got healthy and then my life fell apart, the illness i can deal with but putting all the weight back on after all that work really sucks. I don't like to look at myself anymore....it's not really me, I don't even feel like me anymore.
Now I just need a good kick in the behind to jolt me out of this and get back to living my life, since my lungs are involved with this condition I don't really know how much time i have even though things are good right now. I want to take full advantage of whatever time i have and enjoy everything, I feel like i am not taking advantage of the time I have.....I should write letters to my kids and make as many memories as I can.
I need to stop whining now......guess I should go get some cheese to go with the whine.......
I wanted to paint my countertops in the kitchen, there is nothng wrong with them except the colour. i have seen where they use the melamine paint on laminate. I just want to get a couple more years out of them before we replace them.
i seem to sit all day and think about all the things I want to get done and never seem to do any of them. I get all the regular stuff done, the housework and the cooking but I can't seem to get going on anything else. I seem to be stuck sonehow. I've been thinking that I would like to do some sewing and some gardening and maybe take up painting....but thinking is the furthest I get. Maybe this is depression, it feels different though. It is like i have this routine and I can't get out of it....I don't have anything that is pressing, I mean how much tv can one person watch.....maybe it is a way of not facing things or distancing myself from dealing with anything, even though I think I am dealing well with everything that is going on.
I know that the weight issue is bringing me down, I didn't realise how vain i was until my looks started going to hell....maybe that is the lesson i am supposed to learn from this. But I am a littled pissed too, I mean I spent 18 yers overweight and then i finally lost the weight and got healthy and then my life fell apart, the illness i can deal with but putting all the weight back on after all that work really sucks. I don't like to look at myself anymore....it's not really me, I don't even feel like me anymore.
Now I just need a good kick in the behind to jolt me out of this and get back to living my life, since my lungs are involved with this condition I don't really know how much time i have even though things are good right now. I want to take full advantage of whatever time i have and enjoy everything, I feel like i am not taking advantage of the time I have.....I should write letters to my kids and make as many memories as I can.
I need to stop whining now......guess I should go get some cheese to go with the whine.......
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