11 years and counting

I am here to post that if I can still be sober now for 11yrs (Feb 24 2019), those reading this can do it.  It was a very difficult time when I first posted here.  My head was a mess.  I had an alcoholics mind, blowing things out of proportion and not thinking clearly or in reality.  I still struggle with that some days but that is the mind of an alcoholic.  Not like others.  I found this website by accident and desperation.  It and someone here saved my life.  You are in the right place.  Things happen for a reason.

I have come so far in 11 years and I can see now how great my life is.  How perfect my family is and how important they are to me.  Suicide is so far from my mind and I look back and wonder how I ever could have wanted to leave what I have.  That was a drunk mind.  I have a clean mind now.  Loving where I am at.  I am involved now.  I don't wallow in self pity.  I am a weaver.  Now that is something that would have never happened if I were still drinking.  I learned to drive.  My daughter and son are my best friends.  My husband I have never been happier.  Wow.  I am so blessed.  I didn't realize how much love surrounded me and how much I was hurting all of them.  We are so much closer now.  

I don't mind social gatherings anymore and being round other people who are drinking is something I can handle.  I have become the designated driver lol.  

I still have my up and down depression days but with meds I cope.  That is just me.  It will not lead me back to drinking.  I think that is what started this whole thing when I was 13.  It was depression and social anxiety issues.  Just part of my makeup.  It took me a long time to realize I had inherited these mental inbalances and that there was help out there.  I didn't need to self medicate with alcohol.  (I didn't realize I was until I sobered up)  I passed those genes onto my kids but they have had help so they don't have to go down the road I did.  I am grateful for that.  I didn't have that help at their age.  

It is so great to be able to get up every morning feeling great.  Be productive.  Laugh.  Love.  To be able to see the positive instead of the negative in life.  I have my own gardening business now and that has been awesome.  There are so many positive results from getting sober.  

It has been a long time since I posted here.  That is because I am sober and living life again.  You can do it too.