11 months now...

I am barely hanging on right now. Not really holding anything together at all. Oh I am trying, but not succeeding at all. I am behind on my Utilities and I am now facing a sizeable car repair or I may as well give my van the old heave ho. I don't know where the money is going to come from. It's just not there. I don't qualify for assistance, and I just don't know what to do. I pray many times each day for guidance and for God's mercy and possibly a financial blessing to just get the ends to meet for one month. It's about impossible to make it with a monthly deficit of $1200.00. I am going to try to make arrangements on the utilities, but I don't know what they will do for me.
I am looking at ways to cut costs. I have reduced our food budget to bare bones. I try not to use the Church pantry because I just do't feel right if it makes for less for the others who depend on it. My 9 year old is ready to give up the violin so that rental won't be coming out of my check now. I am just running out of things to cut. The gov't has made it so the only way to watch tv is through a digital converter or cable/satelite. I can't cut that or we won't have any access to the outside world.
Wish I could pack a bag, lock the doors and never come back here.